Comments : Lost

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I love how you add this part about sad stories that were never shownt to the world- that somehow the story of your own life & beauty is just covered in neglect.

    My biggest suggestion here would be to work on the structure of the piece. In places you broke and started another line when there were not natural pauses. For better understanding, you either have to add comma's or dashes, or start a new line at the right place- so it doesn't confuse the reader on the meaning of the message or where to break at. Also check your grammar. "im" should be "I'm". It is important to make sure we grow in writing and can learn new structures to have our poem be strengthened.

    Thanks for the read and God bless!
    Never give up writing!

  • 12 years ago

    by deejay211

    Thank i will follow your advice