Comments : Song of the Siren

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    You have such a strong image throughout the whole piece, it truly grasped at my senses and pulled hard.

    I don't know much about these creatures you've posted, so once I do my homework I'm sure it will hit me harder, LOL. But this was beautiful!

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Kay,

    First of all this was another piece that I found stunning. It's intriguing how differently you can write when given a challenge by me, I like that it seems to be bringing the best out of you. I have used my three Nominations for the week however am hoping that I might be able to nominate this one come next week, if not I hope someone else does as it is extremely worthy of the front page.

    The mythology behind this of course captured me, not only did you write of one you incorporated many and it was natural, the flow, the incorporation. I liked that you knew your stuff. Siren are one of my favorite from mythology, more well known now yes but they fascinate me endlessly. Naiades were also another clever choice, I liked how you kept with the water theme in the beginning.

    "cheeks perfectly blushed by Helios' touch"

    This was a favorite part, I liked your play on words with 'Helios.' While to many it seems as though you are saying that your cheeks are blushed by a man I also got the symbolic meaning as Helios is the personification of the sun and therefore to me it was as though you were saying your cheeks were blushed or reddened from the sun. A lovely message in both meaning.

    I also could not believe you mentioned 'Icarus' I was really touched by the meaning that you entwined with this. Of course Icarus's wings melted with the sun but the emotion you created here was elegant and touching.

    Interesting choice of the River Lethe, out of the five rivers of Hades it was intriguing to see you picked this one and very fitting.

    I adored this poem and not just because of the use of mythology, the flow, the word choice, the structure. Everything about it was enticing to my senses.

    This is a one of a kind poem.
    -Mel.

  • 12 years ago

    by PoetryKnight

    Love it, especially cause it has to do with my highest love yet, music, ask my room mates, i sing all the time, and they made a rule, no singing at the dinner table. lol. but i read this imagining what the enticing song sounds like, and as the siren song, this poem drew me to it. a 5/5 indeed. keep writting, and I'll keep reading.

    From the PoetryKnight

  • 12 years ago

    by Kiko

    This is one of my favorites from you, Kay. I think you really excel with free-form, and your knowledge of this subject really comes through in colorful detail. It is truly an enjoyable read.

    The only thing that could possibly be improved upon is this stanza, which I think could be strengthened a bit:

    I saw her
    among the lotus
    perched on a mossy bank.

    Perhaps you can work in "lotus flowers" or, even better, "lotus tree" which is a mythological tree.

    Anyway, wonderful job here!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    You just blow me away with your wording and imagery. This was a picture of beauty with talent supreme
    Super
    Connie