Comments : India

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    This is almost too in depth for someone outside of the circle to really grasp at the emotions. I mean of course we can feel the emotions and the sadness, and we can see them very clearly, but I think there is more to it that we can't understand unless we are truly there.

    I love how you basically state everything about this person IS India in every way, touch, sight, smell. I thought it was very interesting.

    "India, is the color in his coffee eyes,
    in the space flawing in the core of his
    unbounded spirit."

    I love this bit, I thought it was soft and beautiful. I love the use of "coffee" here as well. Very specific and detailed :)

    "Forgive me, for I won't rest until
    my words reach for you like a
    diving bell that tunes eternally."

    I love this as well. It hits my heart and soul and just melts my heart. This is the sort of poem that will pull at any romantic's heart strings. Beautifully written.

  • 6 years ago

    by Meme

    I try to define him through his
    homeland, then struggle to reach his
    homeland through him!
    ^^
    I had to stop at those lines, I have never seen such a beauty in few lines ..

    Everything in him is india, everything you write is simply EPIC !!

    5/5 and a nomination ..

  • 6 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Wonderful merger imagry:
    "India, is the color in his coffee eyes"

    and that you will continue carving India belies the fact that you sent him away. Apparently love which is passed, can be the love of a life.

    Minutia:
    Change "flawing" to "flowing" and change "I got no reason' to "I have no reason"

  • My heart
    breaks by each dawn that almost
    echoes the color of his skin,
    as I try to define him through his
    homeland, then struggle to reach his
    homeland through him!

    How did you just come up with that ??!

    Breathtaking !!!! The deepest piece I read in years !

  • 6 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This poem was definitely very personal in many ways. Referring to someone by their homeland is brilliant, it's the one thing that can tell you so much about someone.

    You made this poem so personal by adding actual names of oceans, bays, seas, where he was born specifically, etc. It really shows you know him so well, and love him for who he is.

    This is a gorgeous poem but also very sad. I hope he comes back to you. It seems he's the one your world revolves around. Nothing seems right without him. I feel as though a lot of people can connect to this feeling.

    Loved this very much!

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Everything about these personal emotions were touching in so many ways....the way you passionately showed this person as their homeland is real.....the brilliance of this piece isn't in the look of it but the feel, how you are so adamant on showing us the true side of him, a part of you now, a homeland of your heart that won't leave or say goodbye just 'cause you're separated.

    A deep voice echoes throughout this poem, making the reader feel obliged to help you search again, to pray he comes back and that you can have that connection, that true soul together.

    Incredibly passionate, I really felt moved by this piece in ways more than senses.

    God bless you hun.
    MaryAnne

  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    When I first read the title, I though WHAT THE HELL? Nana wrote about India, LOL. but it was in the sadness section and that soothed the shock :P after I read the opening...I was totally amazed, like totally amazed, like I couldn't even imagine how passionate and 7essese you are, how you wrote about two people loving each other, as if you have the same emotions and the same passion and the geat ability to portray such a wonderful piece. you names some seas that surround India and that made it more interesting, and then you said this:

    "For he represents the solo boundaries
    that I could ever portray."

    well, this is what people call perfection...:)

    Born in Amritsar though sometimes
    I felt like my heart was intended to be
    his homeland.
    ^^
    his homeland? or birthplace? :/

    you know some? you named some countries and oceans and cities which I never heard of, that proves how smart and mosa8afe you are :)
    I would say, 7abibte: "I felt my heart" without the "like" :)

    India, is the color in his coffee eyes,
    ^^
    YAAAAAAAAAAAAY
    coffee eyes? this is awesome! you didn't say nocturnal nor black nor bla bla bla, you said coffee and that's just so creative! :D I'm happy you used it though I don't drink coffee I hate it :P

    In the rivers of sensations that can
    never find an end to achieve,
    and sometimes India is the loads
    of sentiments that he fails to control.
    ^^
    you repeated "sometimes" many times, just an opinion, replace the "sometimes" here with another word. :)

    My heart
    breaks by each dawn that almost
    echoes the color of his skin,
    ^^
    you used new creative colors! coffee....dawn and the best is yet to come, ha? :)

    as I try to define him through his
    homeland, then struggle to reach his
    homeland through him!
    ^^
    well, I believe this is the most beautiful part in the whole piece, it was my favorite indeed, I don't know why I loved it very much, it was just so meaningful and sad.

    Forgive me, for I won't rest until
    my words reach for you like a
    diving bell that tunes eternally.
    ^^
    can I change my mind? LOL this is my second favorite part as well =)

    Because until you come back,
    I have no reason to understand
    the rounds of this world,
    nor the roads engraved on maps.
    ^^
    but you said after your signature :P that SHE was the one who asked to end that relationship, right? she wants him back y3ni?:/

    anyway, WHATEVER, this piece was awesome and who disagrees with me is stupid :P 5555555555555555555 byebye!

  • 6 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Forever not getting enough of this poem....this is like the 10th time I'm here...

    The line..

    I felt like my heart was intended to be
    his homeland
    ^
    Gives me chills...

    Oh Rania...
    You're amazing beyond belief.

  • 6 years ago

    by The Queen

    It is a very emotional piece and is sure to elicit a response from every reader especially those who have loved and lost. Technically, this will not be of high regard by critics, due to its odd structure, intermittent line/scene execution, and overtly dramatic delivery (though I must admit, I.m a fan of it) and the overuse of these words "India" and "color". I really like this piece, and the tone this poet had in writing it, very moving all the same time. The last stanza gives off the feeling of hopefulness, though a bit confusing due to its figure of speech being used, "to carve a new India" almost like moving on for a new love. Overall, I could feel that this poet was pouring her heart out while penning this piece.

  • 6 years ago

    by The Queen

    It is a very emotional piece and is sure to elicit a response from every reader especially those who have loved and lost. Technically, this will not be of high regard by critics, due to its odd structure, intermittent line/scene execution, and overtly dramatic delivery (though I must admit, I.m a fan of it) and the overuse of these words "India" and "color". I really like this piece, and the tone this poet had in writing it, very moving all the same time. The last stanza gives off the feeling of hopefulness, though a bit confusing due to its figure of speech being used, "to carve a new India" almost like moving on for a new love. Overall, I could feel that this poet was pouring her heart out while penning this piece.

  • 6 years ago

    by TotaMariee

    This poem is just epic. I havent read a piece like this in a while.

    "My heart
    breaks by each dawn that almost
    echoes the color of his skin,"

    I have chills down my spine! The imigary and emotions here are just ... ya allah i cant find words!

  • 6 years ago

    by Half Husband Half father

    Wow woow u're a very emotional person, so thats y love india u knw wat sunshine u're a nice girl.. God bless u

  • 6 years ago

    by Dr sarat sonowal

    Superb...loved it ...from Amritsar to Bay of Bengal

  • 6 years ago

    by Decayed

    So heartfelt..

    I was going to nominate it, but I saw that it's nominated by almost 9 members, so LOL :p

    "I have no reason to understand
    the rounds of this world,
    nor the roads engraved on maps.
    "
    ^ this was so touching and empowering!

    The atmosphere was gloomy, but I could see Taj Mahal and Bollywood within your lover eyes :P

    GREAT PIECE

  • 6 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    I was pleasantly surprised when I started reading the poem... more becasue i was expecting you to describe the country...
    but the way you have defined through his homeland is really brilliant...

    the imagery made me speechless... I can really feel the respect and love through the verses...

    /My heart
    breaks by each dawn that almost
    echoes the color of his skin// I read this line atleast twice ... your style of writing is breathtaking...

  • 6 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    There is so much more to this , it's but a piece of the heart. I feel it's much deeper then us as a reader can relate too. But I loved every word, and the emotions it evoked in me. Beautifully done in every way. Super
    Connie

  • 6 years ago

    by Saravana Kumar S

    Nice poem...Actually i began to understand your poem only after reading the comments it got...Very artistic way of portraying your feelings....Take care....

  • 6 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... amazing! I loved it... I loved how the title and the content of the poem is way different than I expected as the reader... I love your metaphors, you just pen emotions so beautifully. A well-deserved win my friend! :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Decayed

    CONGRATS on the win.
    YOU VERY DESERVE ITTT:D

  • 6 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Do you know that my boyfriend is Indian? This poem carefully defines my sentiments and the heartache my boyfriend and I go through, and the inner battles we face alone. It is so hard to love someone from a different culture, especially when their family is inflexible and hellbent on tradition. Anyway, before I start rambling... love the poem, it touched me deeply. You have such a wonderful way with words. My one complaint is the poem ended way too soon, I was ready to be taken on a much longer journey if you had given me the words to read.