Baptized in sorrow

by Cinnamonspice   Aug 8, 2011


A grape arbor gives entrance to
a garden tended by a lady of
fragile grace

Pale skin , sad eyes
tell a story of lost love
baptized in loneliness

happiness no longer grows
in her haven

Fragrant blooms surrender
to her tears , dropping petals
of color on the ground

Leaves of green turn brown
and scatter to the wind
barren trees loom dark

"why did you leave?"
she whispers

She sits in the swing they once
shared closes her eyes
drifts into forever sleep

A voice lovingly speaks her name
a smile decorates her face
for the first time in 20 years

she knows it's him
reborn into eternal bliss

4


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Captain Lonesome

    To me this brings about almost a feeling like the distant enchantment one might linger toward to escape what was lost, then a renewed joy at the end! Great job!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Splendidly Written!!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is amazing

  • 6 years ago

    by Jenni

    I'll simply start of with the title: It is really eye-catching especially since it is somewhat contrary because I'd connect "to baptize" with something positive yet sorrow is no where positive. This title is definately outstanding and that is what it needs to be to draw people to read.

    Pale skin , sad eyes
    tell a story of lost love
    baptized in loneliness

    ^ I'd remove the space you put before the "," it looks weird. You set a really great image here, especially since you're saying that the look of someone tells a story, which doesn't seem to make sense when I read these words though it's obvious that there is something that ripped the persons heart out.

    Leaves of green turn brown
    and scatter to the wind
    barren trees loom dark

    ^ I like your choice of words in this stanza because when leaves are green one knows that it's still alive and really beautiful. If they turn brown though they are dying or died already, which underlines you message perfectly.

    "why did you leave?"
    she whispers

    ^ There are no more words necessary to show the speakers frustration and pain than by asking why he left.

    she knows it's him
    reborn into eternal bliss

    ^ I have to admit that I did not expect this end, which is actually good. I thought it would stay as saddening as it started, this gives hope though and it seems to be the perfect end.

    Overall you penned a really powerful poem here. There is not really something I can complain about because it was great. I especially liked the detailed description and the structure.

  • 6 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    The imagination in this piece was outstanding your amazing connie ! FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!