(of metal) not alloyed; pure : unalloyed copper.
â€¢ (chiefly of emotions) complete and unreserved : i.e. unalloyed delight.
(or, as you say: lonliness)
and then again, perhaps not...
This was a really neat write, something I wasn't entirely expecting...it just built up with all these memories that seem to be floating around, and you form these words so powerfully that it makes an impact. I even thought you didn't need some in a few stanzas because it was still full and your thoughts were that deep depression in the darkness of our souls.
You write with so much integrity even etched in all of this loneliness that has no place, the flames of your heart will rise into fireworks! You wait for that day :)
and I will read this again, please stay sunny and keep writing dear poet, thank you for sharing such emotions....
7 years ago
Through my unaligned loneliness tonight
a liquefied falling moon will fill up my
empty glass, and challenge the flavor
to drop the cutting soreness.
^ An amazing way to begin with a preposition. A method I so like :)
^ The word unaligned is amazing. It makes the opening so deep and quite descriptive.
+ I suggest an insertion of a comma after tonight
^ A liquefied falling moon will fill up my glass tonight: WHAT AN IMAGE!!! It's awesome
+ Remove the comma in the third verse
--------Assembled images at the end of my mind
wash off the sharp taste with a sharper
one, flipping the pages of those deserted
years that have passed but unable to end
As I recall them whenever a midnight is
on the verge of sailing off...
^ Definitely my favorite!! .
+ Insert a dot after 'unable to end'
I Adore the ending.. It was empowering and strong.
There are some magnificent images pertaining to the night.. the darkness, and yet, its serenity..
The night's beauty itself is just a remedy for the mind and soul tired of life..
Well done giving abstraction to this description. The wording was awesome, as well. I couldn't love this piece more :)
5/5.. Definitely worth a nomination, but I've badly run out from the 3 this week!!
WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT DOING THIS..TO ME..COULDN'T YOU HAVE TOLD ME..HEY I HAVE A NEW POEM IT IS EXTREMELY HEARTBREAKING,HEARTFELT,SOULFUL,SAD (VERY SAD) IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY SO YOU BETTER HAVE TISSUES? WHY DONT YOU PREPARE ME EMOTIONALLY FOR YOU POETRY RANIA? WHY??!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I CAN'T TAKE THIS...
AND NOW I DON'T ONLY WANNA SAY THE F WPRD I WANNA SAY EVERY SINGLE CURSE I KNOW...
BUT INSTEAD..I'LL JUST GO FOR 'HOLY COW'
WHAT IS THIS....
let me start by saying that i pictured the moon dripping from the sky and someone catching it in a cup.... i mean liquid..moon?...isnt the moon a solid rock?
how do you even come up with these things...
this poem was indeed,neat! (oh that rhymed:p)
you have expressed your sadness so beautifully i will come back and read this a million times and comment a million times again...
i swear to god..
i don't have any nominations left but this is a winner,no matter what people say this is a winner oke...
Never had the chance to comment on this but wow.... what a masterpiece, you know how much I loved it.
The liquiefied falling moon line stayed within my brain for hours, your imagination and your words are thought-provoking.
Just one little thing:
"inflicting it through my lips[,] with each"
just correct this, Nana. The comma. :)
-The flow was well-done, and the ending just wonderfully caught my emotions.
I bet this will win, this week, I bet you.
And if it doesn't win, then the system is all wrong. :P Good write.
Through my unaligned loneliness
tonight I wish my glass is filled up with
pouring light to unseal the chains around
my soul, for I have lost my silvery moon
through the dazzle of my wounds, and the
flames in my heart that barely raise still
this flowing sky...
Is my favorite part of the poem :)