Wow.. Yaki this is really touching a so full of emotion. It's a heart breaking but great write. I like how you wrote about how your feelings for your mom changed and developed. She'll always be a part of your life and I understand that things aren't always easy. Brilliant piece.
Do you have any idea how touched, amazed and moved to the core with this write?? Do you have any idea how much I can relate to it?? Do you know what? I love you. And your writes too.and I think sometimes you just slink through my eyes and pick up the saddest memories I've ever had and you then write about it....along with your delicious metaphors and endlessly effective thoughts, it just sounds magical...and when I read your pieces I feel some connection between your words and my heart, I sometimes think about them at night and I am always inspired by them, Yaki....it's just..I want to cry now, you know that?? because I've never ever EVER related to a piece as I did to this..and I can tell that what you wrote is true, maybe you didn't mean what I am gna say now but I understood from this write that we can't appreciate things until they're gone, and maybe your mother isn't that close to you anymore?? or I don't know...whatever! I was dazzled and surprised...and wowed by each feeling you've penned..
And when you said those stuff about DNA and blood, I just almost wept and believe me ....I so wish you didn'write the piece like this...in this way in this emotional freaking way.. because it broke me....:'( it really did..
gave up your dreams,
to make mine come true..
you know that this part just got me all in tears?? and made me remember all the regrets and memories and everything...
mothers are like that though I didn't experience it lol but....I don't know..!!! I can feel this, though I've never met my mom but I can feel this... :'/
that bread magically
appeared on the table
this is just another amazing metaphor of how mothers strive and do their best for their children, well-done...what the hell can I say now? nominated the next week and it better wins...
6 years ago
this read felt awesomely sad.
I'm blown away......
Nominated the next week also!
I really can't comment on any stanza. Your content just makes everything appear as an ant.
OMG, this is so smurfing beautiful my dear Yaki. *hugs you*
Nothing is more thoughtful and heartwarming more than you, realizing how your Mama is for you and everything that she does for you.
Wonderful, emotional, unforgettable poem!
6 years ago
Sorry, but I forgot to say: 'I take OFF my lipstick' not 'of' ..
6 years ago
Wow Yaki. I wasn't sure where this poem was going until I got to the twist, and just wow. I'm speechless. There were parts that had me overwhelmed with happiness for you and your growth, and sadness for the way you felt. It's a tricky thing, growing up, but you're turning into an incredible WOMAN. You have such a good head on your shoulders and light in your eye. Don't ever lose that sparkle.
If one of my children ever got this far in understanding and/ or...WoW.. went so far as to write about it at all let alone with this depth, passion , and poetic sensabiity, I, too, would be crying..in reverse....
Thank you for giving a voice to all this..
no doubt you have just put a big bow around the life she gave to you both..
Good girl! (I assume..;-)
Cheers from a grammagramma
you got my respect yakz
i love your writing.. similar to mine in a way of simplicity.. thats what kinda made me read oneo f your poems in the first place.. but you have a flavor that makes the reader wants to read more.
WOWWW!! Yakiiii this poem is SOOO touchinggg and inspiring!!! I LOVED ITTTT!! Congratulations on the win! You truly deserve it!!! This poem is relatable, and made me think of my mom and how much I have taken her for granted.... your poem made me appreciate her so much more!! Did you show it to her? She will LOVE it!!! And you should hand write in a nice card or something and give it to her on mother's day!!! =D It will be SO sweet!!
I love how you started by calling her the antagonist and you the protagonist, sometimes we play the victim and make others feel like they are always out to get us or bother us, even our own flesh! It happens! But I love how you showed how that changes throughout the poem... Amazing!!! Well done!!! =D
This is so sad but lovely. We always tend to take our Mothers for granted. We easily forget and ignore their sacrifices, time and energy spent on us. How much love, care and concern they showered us with. We tend to simplify all they've done by just a thank you, when even a lifetime isn't enough to appreciate all they've done and been doing.
Mothers are gems, priceless and ought to be glowing with our love infused to them. We mostly realise their immeasurable efforts, when we start to take care of our very own. Then we remember, how much she went through just to make us happy, put smiles on our faces and provide us with our necessities.
We should always glorify and be there for them before its too late. Lets be grateful and honour when they're still with us. Lets love, pamper and be their for them. That's the best we can do to them in our lives. Really good reminder on how much we neglect as children.
An honest and heart warming read. Great work! :-) ..