"I should have known:
the sun does shine
at night like
^ I truly have to ponder about these lines, when you say the sun does shine at night, are you talking about the moon here, perhaps? Or perhaps an artificial sun, something like hanging lamps. But that wouldn't make any sense.
As much as I love the idea of hanging lamps, and having arranged your lines according the shape of "hanging" (quite down), you are being very vague here. I am not really sure whether this image is meant as something negative or positive. "I should have known" says it's negative, but bright/sun makes it all positive.
"were his qualms
on his own
^ See, now this is some clear darkness.
"He would often slip
between the pages of
n i g h t s and sigh-lence"
^ Everyone has pointed this out already, and I am going to do this too: I loved it. Wordplay is something new you've been doing in your poetry, and you did a nice job here. The distance between "nights" makes me think that you're also playing with the word "nigh".
"writing history between
maps of her freckles... "
^ That's a very poetic way of describing sensual acts, while slowing down the pace with these ellipses.
I thought that the ending of this poem fit very well with the rest, it's surprising how you could incorporate the title in such a flawless way. The only issue is on the first stanza, I think, since I still can't figure out what the purpose of that stanza is.