Locked Manacles

by TJ Arizona Eagle   Sep 25, 2011


Locked Manacles

Residue of lies fill my lungs
eliminating the flow of air
garotte of execution swells the tongue
embolism of fear dares to ensnare
manacles of deception can't be sprung
sensors of truth gives way to prayer

"Harrisham Rhyme"
ababab
last letter of first word starts second line and so on.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    My gosh this piece is stunning. Fantastic word choice, excellent piece

  • 12 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    Interesting style of a poem that definitely could be a challenge for other people, but of course not for you, TJ. :P

    5/5

    -Heather

  • 12 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    ...avd you said you didn't know how to write
    a poem with rhymes!? :) Good with the challenge TJ and for me this write was deep
    and made me think about things..

  • 12 years ago

    by Saerelune

    ^ "And smoking in turn tells me that it's not something negative you're talking about"

    ^ I meant to say that "smoking in turn tells me that IT IS something negative you're going to talk about"

  • 12 years ago

    by Saerelune

    "Residue of lies fill my lungs"
    ^ This line caught my eye right away, because the word "residue" and "lungs" made me think of smoking. And smoking in turn tells me that it's not something negative you're talking about. I'm not sure whether this was your intention but this subtle hint truly intrigued me.

    When I first read this poem, I wasn't so sure about the diction. The poem is a short one so I would've rather enjoyed one strong image that's elaborated upon. But when one takes her time to read each line carefully, she'll notice that each lines has its own strength with a balance of abstract terms vs simple objects. Like "execution" vs "tongue" or "embolism" vs "fear". They all make a good balance.

    Not to mention that you did a wonderful job with the form - it's not forced at all. Nice job.