Uncertainty

by Melissa   Oct 10, 2011


The further I run,
the deeper I'm in
and I must bail me out. Maybe.

For my world is so sad
when you blow away;
the air settles,
owls start to question, who, who, who
turned the sky all black inside,
clocks shudder

Then you breeze in,
like one of those cumulus clouds
babbling about the weather
and how much you adore me,
but I don't believe you

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Nicko

    Melancholy baby comes to mind when i read this, maybe not totally appropriate but it takes me down that path. For me this is very much a mood poem, how we feel at any one time. We know we are in deep, knowing we shouldn't be, if only they could give as much as we do, as they breeze in and out of our lives...

    The only line i was unsure of was "clocks shudder" but then i remembered an old clock of Grans that used to tick with a very audible Tock giving time an almost physical presence, It too would almost shudder with each tock. She would make us wait ages before we could go out and play, how we wished we could speed up that ruddy clock....

    Loved it

  • 12 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    You have such a brilliant way with words and you make it look so easy, simple almost but profound at the same time.
    I love the imagery the shuddering clock gives.
    Truly awesome stuff!

  • 12 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Me and luna always have different opinions, which doesn;t meean that neither of us are wrong, but taste differs.. for i LOVD that last stanza so much.

    I relate to THIS poem in a very very very weird way, the title defines me at this stage of my life, your last line defines me too at this level of my life.

    i love the creativeness and i love the honesty, the surprising elements and the word choice.

    your faithful fan!
    sunshineeee

  • 12 years ago

    by Saerelune

    This piece is different to me, compared to your other works. You always make use of simplistic language, and the same is happening here, but it feels like this is a more straight-forward way of simplicity. The fist stanza reflected this best, although the word "maybe" still had the usual playful-Mel-tone.

    For some reason this first stanze hit me very hard, it seems sadder than what I'm used to in your writing.

    Same thing about the second stanza. I think many people would cringe at reading "For my world is so sad", they'd probably say it's too telling. But to me, there's magic in it, in combination with the previous stanza. The owls, blackness, clock add to this effect, and even include a bit of darkness in this piece. And I truly thought this "who, who, who" was a very clever play on onomatopoeia.

    I must say I was a bit disappointed with your last stanza. It's so sudden and has the same mel-tone I find in all of your other works. Of course I adore it, but not for this piece, because I felt like this poem needs a more gloomy atmpshere, judging on the first two stanzas.

    Of course that's just my opinion. :) I am kind of led by emotions here.

  • 12 years ago

    by Kips2.0

    In response to the last line: 'You better believe him'

    Good piece. Plane and simple. I could imagine how well (whoever you were talking about) has grasped you in his hands. So tight that you don't know how to free yourself.

    5/5