And to add to Abed's (Lebanese Phoenix's)comments, if you don't have it, we unmistakably don't have it! Here are my ignoramus thoughts on this unpretentious verse from someone who knows what I definitely know not!
Besides I have problems
it never understands me.
Where can I find a word to
This one was tough, indeed! For a moment I thought the last 2 lines read as "when I cannot find a word to awaken infinity" - that would have made it much easier, but then the question mark and the "where" brought in a different philosophical interpretation
- to me the meaning here can be more deeply expressed by rephrasing the last 2 lines as:
Where can I find a way
to awaken the infinity (in my thoughts)?
-suggesting that I am stuck in the realm of finity of my vocab/poetic thoughts, and need to find the (philosophical) infinity. This would perfectly blend in with this ensuing stanza:
I need an untamed syntax
to define me
explode through me.
Stating impeccably, that one cannot really limit a poet's syntax (=word order/arrangements), for to limit this will be like limiting/solving the mathematical infinity.
I don't belong.
I don't fit.
The nebulas gave birth to me
and I go galactic every now and then.
Ha ha! I like the last line in here. My interpretation goes intergalactic here...will definitely let the readers guess! I would only say that yes the nebulae definitely gave birth to this star poetess!