Inevitable

Lu,*

I know I told you how much I enjoyed this piece when you wrote it from the prompt but I never got the chance to comment, slack I know. Glad I've got the chance to come back and visit it, you took the prompt and you created something beautiful. Too often suicide is written about in such a depressing manner but you connected the term to nature and it was a lovely approach.

The image reminded of the last leaf on a tree before winter, the way it's blown in the breeze until finally it detaches itself and flutters to its death. Again you used personification, you gave the leaf human characteristics by calling it a 'she' and the ability to suffocate and drown. Such a sad image, I genuinely felt for this leaf even though you gave the poem such an inspiring message at the ending.

I'm not sure if you meant it like this when you wrote it but I saw the concept on a whole new level, the fact that with death something else springs from it, too often we're consumed by the pain of loss that we often forget about other things, the suffering people were going through and so on.

My only suggestion with this poem, I didn't feel the (-) was needed after "only to" in the first stanza, I preferred the way it flowed without it, but again it's personal preference.

-Mel

//Yet sadly
"some suicides are never recorded"
or perhaps it was
a self-sacrifice
so new life could be born

//

This reminded me of a girl who refused to continue chemotheraphy as she was pregnant and wanted her baby to be safe. She died few days after giving birth to a healthy baby.
A self sacrifice for a new life.

A beautiful write, I loved the soft tone and the flow :)

I deeply enjoyed this piece and I kept going back to read it before commenting, because I'm really not sure how to describe the way I feel after reading. The description of this free-fall does sound akin to serenity...though I love in the end the aspect of this suicide either being sweetly forgotten, not appreciated by anyone but this season, or freely giving herself to the start of a life-giving time of Spring. Anyway, really imaginative thought that took somber tones as well as something new being made, a death possibly remembered in the next coming of season. Beautiful beautiful, I loved the format and the way it stands so profoundly, it haunts the reader. And the title was perfect too- the seasons change, it is all inevitable, and you pen with such passion upon entering the soul of this season and letting the reader witness it. Thanks for sharing, will probably end up reading again!

Take care Lu
MaryAnne

Lu!

Beautifully sad piece here. I found the poem to be a big paradox. It's as if this 'death' is peaceful yet sort of full of pain. The peaceful part obviously connects very nicely with the quote given about the death [suicide] 'never being recorded', as if it doesn't hurt as much or was more of a secret. Obviously it seems you're speaking of the fall season and how all seems to die and then come alive again in Spring. I like how you personify the seasons as a butterfly or a bird, which works so very well with this. Since black birds are often associated with death and butterflies are more beautiful and colorful. I feel like no matter which way you look at this poem you do see the two sides of death quite well.

I really adored the way you used this prompt, the quote was used wonderfully. It's always fun to be creative and write about the seasons in different ways. Love your title also, very well done!