Eternal Flame

by Cinnamonspice   Nov 25, 2011


Inscribed upon my heart
a tattoo of your name
embedded amidst satin desires,
hopes, plans and dreams.

Winged creatures dance
and flutter, deep within my core,
to the melodic phrase of your voice,
sweet orchestration of my soul.

Bringer of the consuming torch
silent keeper of the flame,
elicit contradiction of fiery
provocative needs.

Eternal fires light moonless nights.
While love flickers in the shadows.
Embraced by guarded secrecy.
From ashes of surrender

Awake the night as we dance
slow among the embers.
Torch the heart with sensual
resignation

3


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    I wrote a longer comment earlier, but the apostrophe made it disappear.

    A very passionate write reaching a new height in your collection of love poems. The first 2 stanza's

    Inscribed upon my heart
    a tattoo of your name
    embedded amidst satin desires,
    hopes, plans and dreams.

    Winged creatures dance
    and flutter, deep within my core,
    to the melodic phrase of your voice,
    sweet orchestration of my soul.

    have beautiful metapors and vocab to match the mood in the poem. There is a lot of painstaking creativity in the use of the words here to ignite the readers heart with passion.

    The next 2 stanza's bring out the desire and longing magnificiently. Classy! the way thoughts here are projected is all I can say.

    The ending stanza :

    Awake the night as we dance
    slow among the embers.
    Torch the heart with sensual
    resignation

    brings the reader to a eclectic climax. Here is a different way to reword it with a little more power to your thoughts:

    Awaken the night with sensual desires
    as we dance slowly amongst the embers.
    Torch the heart with passion
    ignite my body to forbidden pleasures

  • 12 years ago

    by Carissa

    Wow...the description was absolute perfect. My imagination was running wild reading this. LOVE IT

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Connie, the emotions you have brought with your exquisite smoothness are amazing. I was deeply connected, as if I sank in the content because of its liquidity. And I mean that it's so flowing, and studded with vividness. I love it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Connie, This was original, and inspiring too, you drew me in straight away, I loved the use of imagery in fire, metaphoric yet real.

    As promised my full comment:

    Inscribed upon my heart
    a tattoo of your name
    embedded amidst satin desires,
    hopes, plans and dreams.

    ^The use of tattoo in the first stanza, gave a painful yet beautiful image to the piece, I also loved the use of desires, hopes, plans and dreams, it flowed so well here.

    Winged creatures dance
    and flutter, deep within my core,
    to the melodic phrase of your voice,
    sweet orchestration of my soul.

    ^Winged creatures, birds, butterflies, flies and others, although I like to think angels maybe. Melodic is such an awesome word and orchestration was so powerful, a unique word which I don't think I've ever came across in a poem.

    Bringer of the consuming torch
    silent keeper of the flame,
    elicit contradiction of fiery
    provocative needs.

    ^The flow seems a little off here, the last 2 lines mostly, I liked the first sentence, so imagerific (Is that even a word?)

    Eternal fires light moonless nights.
    While love flickers in the shadows.
    Embraced by guarded secrecy.
    From ashes of surrender

    ^ a sad image with the use if ashes but a powerfulo one too, I like the title use here, worked well, and the metaphoric use of fire and love awesome

    Awake the night as we dance
    slow among the embers.
    Torch the heart with sensual
    resignation

    The ending seemed to be a little abrupt, I like the use of dancing among embers, but this seemed a little off at the end, maybe add "and" before "torch the heart".

    Again Connie, I can only say I love your work, Fantastic

    Love Tara
    xxxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Exostosis

    Inscribed upon my heart
    a tattoo of your name
    embedded amidst satin desires,
    hopes, plans and dreams.

    ^ The stanza perfectly describes how the author holds the name of his/her love so close to the heart. To be honest the usage of the word "tattoo" is a bit off setting for me. It takes the charm away from the poem, for me. Just for me, other readers might as well be impressed with it, after all it is subjective.

    Nonetheless, I love how the name of the significant another is embedded upon satin desires thus written/carved/stitched upon silky, sleek and glossy fabric, that is the skin.
    The love resides within the hopes of the author, as the word "plan" is mentioned, the author does spend time planning the future with his/her lover and dreams about that particular love.

    Winged creatures dance
    and flutter, deep within my core,
    to the melodic phrase of your voice,
    sweet orchestration of my soul.

    ^ Like TJ has written, the first two lines indicate the presence of butterflies in the belly. The fluttering is the uneasiness caused by excitement and nervousness.

    The last two lines indicate, how the the voice of the lover is melodic to the author and in return the author echoes every rhythm, every note his/her soul can achieve.

    Bringer of the consuming torch
    silent keeper of the flame,
    elicit contradiction of fiery
    provocative needs.

    Eternal fires light moonless nights.
    While love flickers in the shadows.
    Embraced by guarded secrecy.
    From ashes of surrender

    ^ These two stanzas dont easily give away the meaning. The perplexity is amusing. Let me try to interpret, I could be completely wrong or wrong at multiple places, although the stanzas describe the importance of the significant another.

    The first stanza suggest the lover is the keep of flames, but the lines

    elicit contradiction of fiery
    provocative needs.

    Suggest - Elicit: Evoke or draw out (a response or fact) from someone by actions or questions. Or Draw forth (something that is latent or potential) into existence.

    Contradiction: The act of contradicting.
    The state of being contradicted. A denial. Inconsistency; discrepancy. Something that contains contradictory elements.

    Fiery: Consisting of fire or burning strongly and brightly. Or Having the bright color of fire.

    Which means the lover holds the torch of love which evokes a burning desire that is being denied by the author.

    Thank you for clearing that up for me Connie. ^^,

    The second stanza is easier than the first one. An eternal fire lighting up the moonless night while love flickers amongst the shadows. And the shadows hide you from the plain site of the world, thus deeming the love sacred.

    Awake the night as we dance
    slow among the embers.
    Torch the heart with sensual
    resignation

    ^ This stanza is very beautiful. The night is awakened as the lovers dance among the burning embers - a small live piece of coal, wood, etc, as in a dying fire. The smoldering remains of a fire. Or in this context it could mean dancing amongst the fire evoked within the hearts of the two lovers while being registered to the sensual touch of the heart.

    Connie, with a wave of your magic wand, you always drown the readers within your word play. You use few words to paint multiple dimensions of the same topic. Never fail to create a hypnotic composition =)

    Very well written.