Comments : The non-verbal me...

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    This was very powerful. It also made me feel a little sad too.

    "I wish you could detach your existence from me,
    and take away the hateful memories that reside in my heart,
    so that the bitter memories of friends which resemble you,
    fades away soon... "

    ^ I love all of this poem but the end was my favorite part as it said so much and really pulled at my heart strings

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Mattias Ostling

    This was a very powerful poem, indeed. Very ambiguous, too. I get the impression of your "shadow" being an old friend or old lover maybe? Quite unsure of if that's exactly what you were going for, but that's the message it sends me. I loved the last stanza. Great job.

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This was so deep and honest I loved it!! I love the comparison of a friend to the shadow, really nice. Your wording was great and I absolutely loved this title! I found it so creative in relevance to the shadow! Awesome!

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This was so deep and honest I loved it!! I love the comparison of a friend to the shadow, really nice. Your wording was great and I absolutely loved this title! I found it so creative in relevance to the shadow! Awesome!

  • 12 years ago

    by Whatever works

    Wow
    i really liked this
    the title made me think and want to read it
    and I honestly love it
    its creative i like how you used your shadow in this...
    and it just helps me think of my shadow in this sense
    maybe its a part of you that is one the dark side. some feelings need figuring out
    but i did enjoy reading this..

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Jess

    Wow, The Title Caught My Attention. For One.
    And For Two, HOLY COW.
    I Just Fell In Love With This Poem.
    You Amaze Me, Time After Time.
    5/5.. Of Coarse! :]
    God Bless
    Jesssssssssssssssssi.

  • 12 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I love the shadow metaphor and the free flow of this well written revealing poem

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Wow! This was so intense! I loved your choice of words , they truly set the tone of this poem. One can't read this and not take it seriously. I liked your line "I wish you could detach your presence from me". Sometimes people don't have to physically be around you to have their presence there, even when we don't want it there. That feeling sucks :/

    I thought this was awesome. There were a few lines I'd add a few commas in to break up a line and make your poem easier to read, but other than that I loved this!

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    I really loved your choice of words in this piece. It was filled with great emotions and was heartfelt. 5

  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Croat

    Great poem with nice ideas...
    I loved it!

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    The first stanza really stood out for me, very powerful. I love your metaphors for the shadow. Well-penned!
    5/5 Keep writing :)

    -X

  • 11 years ago

    by Girl of Conviction

    Your presence exudes the clouds of reminiscence of my friends,
    who enjoy the freshness of rain with me like you,
    but fear to cover me in their wings
    when I am exposed to hardships...

    ^^favorite part of ur poem :]]

    such a great writer
    :]

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by TSI25

    I really like this one a lot. the shadow, to me at least, represents a kind of duality which can be found in all people, so its instantly relatable. you prod at the skeletons in all our closets without actually making a direct accusation. its subtle and yet powerful, which i like a lot. very well written, probably my favorite one by you yet.

  • 11 years ago

    by Marvellous

    Silence whispers, that we may think. What repels, is not meant to be.

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    An amazing piece that immediately touches the heart, emulating any expert poet poems. It's really full of emotions. I loved it.

  • 11 years ago

    by Something Diabolical

    What a powerfull emotional poem which i enjoyed reading

    i like how you compared a friend to your shadow. The choice of words in this poem is perfect and you really got your message across.. the imagery you have created is amazing.
    I think everyone can relate to this in some way or another.

    I wish you could detach your existence from me,
    and take away the hateful memories that reside in my heart,
    so that the bitter memories of friends which resemble you,
    fades away soon...

    was my fav part. Purley because i felt it held the most emotion

    keep it up!
    5/5 from me

  • 11 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    A very powerful piece Amreen!
    As always from you, a Poem of the highest order!

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    Wow! The incorporation of shadow to the subject of the poem is very lovely. Beautifully described and the imagery is strong, vividly created. Its somewhat sad to always have a feeling of pessimism looming around one. Engulfing one in sheer abject despair. We get cuddled in worries of the unknown, uncertain what will shadow us further, to achieve that peace of mind.

    Life gets us in duality of the positive and negative ventures. The 'shadow' is that hope that hovers around us. Which gives us a reason to live and thrive come rain or sunshine. However, this same 'shadow' distance itself from us when we're clouded with misery, fear and sadness. It appears to appease and gives us comfort only in happy and positive moments.

    A good message of inspiration because i see the trait of hope radiating within. *claps* :-) ..

  • 11 years ago

    by Rusheena

    This is amazing! It's refreshing and soothing, despite its dark tone. Keep it up!