I had to answer back, to see what
once was there. So I went back to
the box of memories I once closed.
A bunch of childhood photos found
their way to my hand. I never thought
I would see something different in
them this time.
-thinking that when relooking at the pictures everything would be exactly how it was last time.
You were there somewhere in ever
corner of every picture, holding my
hand, or playing with my hair, but
often starring at me when I am
looking elsewhere. Maybe you did
really fall for me all of this time,
but I never looked back to read
what was written in your eyes.
-my fav one :). Finally looking and truly seeing that he was always there, always having feelings for you.
Now wondering if you guys took a new picture would you see it like you did in the last pictures or would it be different now
It's the first time I tell someone here to: Please, why not making the piece longer??????
I was waiting to read more and more and more, I swear!!!
I love this piece... BRILLIANT BRILLIANT, Meme.
It looks like an intro to a movie, where someone is talking, introducing a small story to the audience.. Damn it,, the wisdom, the story-board... all hit home for me!!
Amazing job, but as I told you, more details before reaching the end would make it ... BOOM BOOM!! LOVE
5 years ago
This poem has a great deal of potential and I really like your ideas. It does start out as narration as LP has pointed out and I think the problem is you have spend too much time with that. If you balance that and the actual content of the poem itself they are equal...so I'd suggest cutting the narration a bit and focusing a little more on the story...I would also liked this poem to have been slightly longer...the story part of it that is...maybe you were in different schools/neighbourhoods as you grew up...just a little something more. Work on it some more....it's really worth it because...as I said...it has a lot going for it.
This, withoutdoubt is a front page winner. Not only did I enjoy the chills, but also the tears that stood there at the corner of my eyes. Oh meme you touched me soo deeply.
I love it, i love the way you got me caught up all at once, I love the way you penned this in a very simple yet impressive way.
It's like a detective romance where you must reconstruct feelings you 'would' have had, if only you knew! The actual relationship is not defined, so that we don't know if you have discovered something new or realize that a former relationship had deeper roots than you knew. As a reader, I would love to see a follow-up.
My gosh, I love this piece. Absolutely 100% love it. The piece is creative and describes a different look on so much. It was so gripping the whole way through, and I think that a follow up would be amazing. This is so descriptive and just excellent. 5/5 great piece.
I like this poem, very descriptive and like a story should be ^_^
5 years ago
This is your best peace yet, I really do believe that you've done the best job and pinned your best poem ever yet, It was simple, very straightforward, and to be quite honest very much straight to the point, It spoke about raw emotions and what could and should have been, with a great moral to learn from it all.
god bless you
5/5 a nomination and a very deserving front page in my honest opinion.
Cherished old memories are deeply haunting, when imbedded in our mind in the form of forever photographs, that are difficult to erase. Yes we will always reminesce those who we deeply miss today. The feelings in this verse-prose here are nostalgic, even heartbreaking and those of love embedded in an unerasable way, that the storyteller did not realize even existed, until the memoirs of a heartbreak surfaced, as little cherished moments in the little windows of the past that were not that visible before.
Oh My God. Oh My God.. such a lovely poem. great work. i love the story and the idea in it. when the writer was watching the old pics. and he found someone there staring at her. this is the treasure that we want to see in album... and the last two lines.. wonderful point to place... i love the question you asked about future. it makes me good or bit sad. depends on the answer for other person.
i am so happy your writing is improved a lot.. i am so happy...
This poem is so touching and was such a delight to read!!! I love the title, and loved the story you told in this poem. The opening stanza was so strong, and really touched me.. I absolutely loved it, it was so well-written! I love how you described this person being in every corner of all of your pictures, celebrating all of your special moments with you. It was so sweet and heartfelt! I love photos and photo albums in general are filled with emotion, happy or sad, and have so much meaning... so I liked how you said as you reach the end of this photo album, and if you capture a picture of you and this person now, how it would be like?
It was so interesting and a great poem!! Well done indeed!!! =)