Comments : Shape-shifter of Emotions

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    Okay. this idea of shape-shifting of emotions is tremendously beautiful, can be seen by many ways, especially that you don't know which mask you're putting on, which face your hiding behind a face, another face, and probably 100 more. At first, I was opposed by the bold tone, I think it's empowering, and so needed to pull-off powerfully. The alliteration in the title itself is also enticing, also the line breaks. And at the end, I got the shivers, of being in the bottomless pit, under two feet... ugh, it felt so organic.
    Awesomeness, flawlessness.

    I'll come to read it again... when I don't have 1/4 sleepy eyes.

  • 5 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Wow amazing everythings great thee emotion the flow the fantastic wonderful wording this poem was written greatly and I simi relate,,fantastic job and wonderfully done it's just a master peice and a marvelous poem at that I love love loved it 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    This is by far the BEST poem I've seen from you.
    this is excellent. I just love it. You incorporated different metaphors from lemons, strawberries, apple. Sweet, bitter, sour, the tone of this poem ahh.. This is too good. Why didn't i think about this? haha I know because I'm not you. Excellent piece. 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    How well you penned the transformation of a changing relationship. You had it all , the emotion the pain, the morphing of the soul.
    great flow, brilliant wording. Excellent poem all around

  • 5 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Oh wow,I am impressed, you know I am a sucker for sad poems, something pulls me toward them. And I am a lover for nature, and fruits, I use them in most of my ppoems, and the way here you flipped between bitter and sweet, shows the shifts going in your subconscious even while writing it, it's in your thoughts. Which proves the deepness of your emotions, makes me feel like it is a real poem, not just a creative art.

    Perhaps the 1st I read from you, but no bet it wont be the last, you're going to my favorites, this should have been a front page poem.

    Perfect metaphors, very new, very creative.
    Hats off

    Sunshine

  • 5 years ago

    by Ruby Red Memories

    First off I loved your title! It made me curious about the poem.

    As for the poem itself I loved the imagery you created in the opening lines.

    I love the poem as a whole and I cannot fault this at all

    5/5

    :)

    x

  • 5 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    A power packed poem depicting how emotions can quickly change, i.e metamorphose, a person's inner being. A lot of disturbing sadness expressed here, for the reader to imagine, when picturizing the scene that led to this verse.
    The second half portrays the reason for the anguish expressed in here, and certainly is powerful, filled with raw emotions:

    I challenge -
    your scrutiny to see beyond the possibility
    that I may in fact
    be more than just a fallen apple from a tree

    but...

    for now I will take off my mask -
    though your distorted view will still leave me
    where I've always been -

    Beneath you

    I think the ending is superbly composed.

  • 5 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow, so much has already been said about this piece. I love this and it is very creative I think you have done an excellent job penning your emotions and thoughts as well as some fantastic descriptions. The title was so intriguing and the piece itself satisfied my curiosity, so thank you. The way you started was so perfect and the ending was stunning. This whole piece seems so amazing, I think you have written a piece very close to perfection, in fact, I can't find a single thing to dislike about this piece.

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Britt

    I feel the -'s after bitterness and intensified in the first and second stanzas weren't really needed. When reading them, I felt like I had a weird lengthy pause, rather than a natural one that you created with your lines.

    I like the use of the different fruits to bring home your point of different emotions. My favorite part regarding that definitely had to be the lemon/sour stanza... it instantly made my mouth water a little bit and pucker! haha. But I like how you said it's posing to be sweet, definitely untrue unless you have something added to it - which is generally how our emotions end up.

    Your "I challenge" stanza, I think the lines should be broken up a little more to keep with the flow you have in the rest of your poem. This gives the lines a kind of 'rushed' feel, when I think this is really a VERY important and strong part of your poem.

    I really liked your ending and truly felt the sadness come through there. I believe this was a very strong and powerful ending that summed everything up perfectly. :) Great job!

  • 5 years ago

    by Renegade Angel

    This poem has imagery so awesome that i hadto read it again! you have awesome talent, even with my eyes so tired from lack of sleep made my eyes pop! thank you for waking me up :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    Congrats Liz <3

  • 5 years ago

    by The Princess

    I fell inlove with this when I first started reading it in the club's congrats thread. To me it had just the right mixture of emotions, powerfulness and images. I loved how there was some kind of music to the words, as in the very soft rhymes and ofcourse the double meaning in the poem. A very creative write. Keep it up!

  • 5 years ago

    by Katy

    Loved it

  • 5 years ago

    by radio host

    I would love for you to read your poem on my radio show by phone. If interested email me, thanks !

  • 5 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    A very sad poem that bares open unvarnished emotions out in the open. Using the symbolism of various fruits to metaphorically project a fast bruising relationship. Lemons, to depict bitterness and sourness; and fallen apple to denote the break up in love, which was once held in high esteem....lips that tasted like strawberries, was unique. The intensity of hurt in this souring relationship is projected using "a thousand knives piercing through an open wound." The picture of how easily love can be metamorphosed or destroyed when not nurtured tenderly by the gardener, who tends to his garden, is very well painted here. So in my opinion this is a deserving winner, as it so well projects the anguish and despair, in a woman hurt from the callousness of her lover. The ending is the most heartfelt of all:

    I challenge -
    your scrutiny to see beyond the possibility
    that I may in fact
    be more than just a fallen apple from a tree

    but...

    for now I will take off my mask -
    though your distorted view will still leave me
    where I've always been -

    Beneath you

    Superb job, Lioness, in penning darkness of our heart, so well.

    (From Judging comment 12-18-11)