Comments : Nobody's child

  • 12 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    It's sad how the future children of our generation are left to fend for themselves with no one to care for them. A touching write and each verse has vivid images.

  • 12 years ago

    by Jad

    A interesting poem with a good central mesage that has a wonderful layout. Your words have a deep message intergrated into each line and the true meaning runs deeper then what is read. Your spelling of skyscrapers and also slowly was lovely imagery that really grabbed my attention with how you wrote out the words to embody what they meant. Your imagery was also nice as it gave me a better idea of what you are talking about.

    The poem had many things I liked about it and I found that your poem had a good mix of emotions in it as well. I could tell where there was sadness and then when there was hope and other feelings. I loved te sense of worry and sadness that you feel near the end as well.

    In all, I loved the poem for its simplistic meaning and also how you are able to tell this story with wonderful clarity and also the imagery. I am glad to see you grow as a poet and I could only hope you do more and more. Great job and keep writing!

  • 12 years ago

    by NightFlyer

    A very vivid image you've painted of this child of the city wandering out in the heartless streets. You've captured a street person's cold reality here. Evokes Bob Dylan's song 'Like a Rolling Stone' as I read this. But I feel her determination and struggle to find some hope despite her miserable circumstances. Thanks for sharing!

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    I love the way you have payed this poem out. The way you wrote skyscraper as if the words were tall themselves. Also the break between the word slowly as if we were supposed to read it that way

    I enjoyed this read and think it was well written

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Hellon

    This poem has so many things going for it. I loved how you have stretched the word skyscrapers to depict the high of them.

    Your second stanza gave such vivid imagery of a child exploited...I know a lot of third world countries have very young children sewing beads and bubbles for a mere pitance...very sad really. In you last line of this stanza I wondered at first about the use of the word wrinkled but then I thought...so much nicer than screwed up....that was my interpretation of this word in the end.

    Again, I liked how you set slowly up in the last stanza to make the reader slow down and digest what is being said here.

    I always enjoy your poetry and this one is no exception...very well done.

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Always a delight to read your work. Unique and brilliantly creative. Your layout was eye catching, wording was well thought out and meant to keep the reader interested. Awesome as always

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Love this. I have stumbled across this, and I thought I commented... a greeat piece where stretching Skyscrapers vertically just put that image of the very high building in your head, and the slowly part, too. But those weren't what enticed me. I liked the vividness here, and the fast pace of some beautiful imagery. The child abuse topic is such a realistic subject, and you conveyed here amazingly. Awesomely done.