Torn

by Rihanna   Dec 22, 2011


A part of me wants to leave you alone.
A part of me wants for you to come home.
A part of me says I'm living a lie.
(And I'm better off without you.)
A part of me says to think it through.
A part of me says I'm over you.
A part of me wants to say goodbye.
A part of me is asking why...

A part of me wants to leave.
But a part of me wants to be here with you.
And everytime I think we're over and done you do something to get me back loving you.
And you got me just torn.

So many times I... (Had my foot out the door)
So many times I... (I thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man)
Now I'm sitting here and I'm so confused.
Cuz I keep fighting myself for you. I'm torn in between the 2

*LETOYA-torn*

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Girl of Conviction

    Wow!! this left me speechless :] its so sad but at the same time i love it<33
    you definately poured your heart out on this one :]]

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by John Dlyan Boone BABY

    I love it great job keep your heart in your works cause their great 5

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I thought the repetition was effective, it may have been a bit too much and if you wanted to add variety you could have expanded on your descriptions has to why you want to let him go, yet stay with him. I loved the rawness of this piece and how you don't butter anything up, you tell it how it is, that you are confused and there are moments when you are ready to leave, yet something is drawing you back to him. Great title that just says it all- keep writing. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Kips2.0

    You did a great job painting a picture of your heart. However, you didn't really do well in putting some poetic touches on the whole thing.

    The repeated "a part of me" is not (really) necessary, you could make it even better poetically by doing this:

    A part of me
    wants to let go.....
    wants to stay with you...
    wants to etc..

    Something like that would make it poetic without the repetition, and it will definitely make the poem smoother.

    In the third part (or so), you changed the tone of your voice, from 'you' to 'him, & he'. You need to choose one particular tone and follow with it to the end, else it will throw most people off. Following it to the end, will definitely make the poem stronger.

    These are just few suggestions I have for you. You may look into them if you wish to.

    Overall, your heart was very well painted. Keep writing and keep on improving.

    5/5 from me!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Marvellous

    Just curious to get d depth of it all.. Well, in the uncertainty, I'ld leave it a Big 5 hit! Nicely rhymed. Thank u 4 shar'n.

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