Christmas Wish

12-24-2011

Once again my eyes
Look straight toward the ground
Wondering why when only minutes ago
I was laughing with the most joyous sound.

It is now Christmas Eve
And the day was quite fun
Opening presents, playing games
Laughing at jokes, and then some.

It's the first time in years
That I spent with family on this side
And I cherished every moment
Until I was alone at my bedside.

Why do I always think
That I have to shut myself away
Is it to protect myself from harm
Because disaster is on its way?

Every time I start to feel myself shine
I always freeze and start to frown
Because right then and there I realize
"You can't be happy," and now I drown.

But what I don't understand
Is that they let me back in
Yet I stand far away with my back turned
With not even the slightest grin.

My family now accepts me
For what I am today
Is it because I proved them all wrong
And changed my ways?

They always had doubt in me
That I would never make it through
But now that I proved that I'm at the top
They finally accept me too.

So on this Christmas Eve
I wish for one thing as a gift
I wish not for presents or money
But for love from a family to give my spirits a lift.