Be mine

by Fear2love   Jan 3, 2012


I miss you,
before you even say goodnight
I want you, no I need you next to me
be my ride or die
girl will you do that for me
I'm going crazy for you
but I enjoy your company

you was in front of me
the whole time
I just had to open
these eyes of mines
it took me some time,
but now i see you all I need

All I desire all I ever dream of
sometimes I can't tell if
I'm still dreaming
because your voice is
so mesmerizing
you got me hypnotized
I Want your body to be
intertwined with mine

you on my mind, you in my heart
I hope nothing will tear us apart

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    There are some errors within this piece, mostly just needing more punctuation. There is one line that sounded awkward in the second stanza, last line:

    "but now I see you all need"

    Maybe review that?

    As I read through this, I felt it almost had a lyrical aspect to it, maybe in the rap genre. Seems as though it could be considered "slam poetry" as well.

    This poem seems to be about you realizing your true feelings for this girl. She has been in front of you for a long time as friends but now you see that you truly love her.

    Overall, nice job but it does have potential to be better. I hope you don't take my critique offensive, just trying to help! :)

  • 10 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    This is so sweet it blew me away, I love it, she must be so lucky to have you and your great poetry :), you're heart was really expressed here, wonderful poem :)

  • 11 years ago

    by lovemehateme

    Loved this.. ha, super cute (:
    4/5

  • 12 years ago

    by La Reina De Corazones

    Awwwwww cute if only my bf was dis romantic!

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    This is a sweet and emotional poem. I do recommend you correct some of the grammatical errors, so then the poem will be perfect :)

    Great job!

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