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by Nonna Jan 13, 2012
Love, romance /
The first time i saw you,
i knew it from the very start.
That you will find your own way,
right to my broken heart.
I felt you were different,
but i listened to my mind.
I will not try to know you more,
scared from what i might find.
I said I'll not try to see you,
i said I'll never look you in the eye.
I said I'll hardly talk to you,
and will act cold when you say goodbye.
I wrote you messages, never planned to send,
telling you, what i deep down feel.
And although my mind kept saying "No",
my heart said it was real.
Enjoying every moment of your presence,
yet will never show it, it's safer this way.
I will never ask for your number,
i kept reminding myself every single day.
But then i dreamt of you one night,
i realized in the inside, i wanted something more.
And i knew my days from this moment on,
ain't gonna be the same as before.
I was afraid you might notice,
playing cool, for you not to see.
That behind this cold exterior,
there's a warmer side of me.
Days were running really fast,
and i felt i need to let you know.
half of me wants you to stay,
half of me wants you to go.
The moment you were leaving, was the hardest,
i didn't want you to say goodbye.
Afraid you might look and see,
the tears that were hiding in my eye.
you said "see you soon" and i smiled,
then i ran to the bathroom, closed the door.
i told myself, i ain't gonna cry,
but the tears start falling to the floor.
I decided to send you a message,
i have your number and for this I'm glad.
You deserve to know you're really special,
that you have something, no one else had.
We talked and talked for hours,
what i felt was something i couldn't explain.
I told you "i like you", but was afraid,
that we cause one another any kind of pain.
Afraid i might like you,
more than i should.
Afraid you might want to leave,
when i no longer could.
You're kind, you're sweet,
you're too good to be real.
And i do really like you,
more than i actually reveal.
And now i realized what i really want
is to give myself a real shot.
to know who you really are,
and who you are not.
I realized you're worth a million try,
and everything that i might go through.
I realized i never will forgive myself,
if i didn't get the chance to get close to you.
I realized that air makes you laugh,
who else could possibly feel this way.
I realized how unique you really are,
and that i do want you to stay
You told me to do what makes me happy,
that you'll understand, whatever is my choice
What makes me happy? I wonder,
is it the sound of your voice?
Is it the way that you smile?
or how you can see,
Beyond the solid walls
that I've always built for me?
Is it the words you utter,
is it the messages you've sent?
Or is it that blanket over there,
that still have a bit of your scent?
I wonder what makes me happy more,
i don't seem to have a clue.
But one thing i know for sure,
What makes me happy is "You".
Pure beauty in your writing.
Flows great from start to end
Your style of writing is one to cherish.
Keep it going!
I think you would like my writing of "Foolproof Existence". Give it a shout :)