Oh Yaki, What raw emotion you portrayed here, It really moved me to tears like I never expected, I am speechless :O

The flow was beyond flawless, each line was pure sadness and vulnerable.

How did you write such a piece that I don't feel anything but your pain and emptiness,

I loved the part about realising you love so many people more than you feel you could ever love yourself, and I understand that,
This is how we get hurt because we love too much but ourselves we detest, and can't see the truth.

Loved it,
and OMG Nominated. xxx

I liked all three (or four?) of your poems that were nominated this week, but I think this one was my favorite. I'm glad to see it get represented.

I like your simplicity of language. Like I said in PM, you have a complex and interesting emotion, and you're letting it speak for itself rather than bogging it down in superfluous adjectives. Your poem still reads "poetically," because you are sort of using your words to channel the emotion, while still letting the emotion run freely. I think that's really effective.

The thing that gets me in your poems more than anything else is the sort of unflinching honesty. It can be hard to read, but it definitely resonates.

My favorite stanza was this:

"all that I am
is a combination of brain cells
that have the potential
to stand on mountain tops-
but settle for the view
they get half way up.."

You're depicting yourself as merely a sum of your parts, a "combination of brain cells," but there's a contradiction, because it seems you couldn't really write unless there was more to you than that. The "settling views" is a perfect way to illustrate that feeling of damaged self-worth, that distrusting of yourself.

I was a little confused by the punctuation of ".." because I didn't know if it was meant to be read as an ellipses or a period. Since it's very consistent, though, I'm just trusting that it's a stylistic choice.

The last two stanzas make for a great ending.

Your poetry is so easy and light to read, even when the content is hard and heavy. It's that raw emotion and unedited truthiness (how is that not a word? I thought truthiness was a word!) that makes the words come off the page and as my eyes skim across them, I'm more feeling than reading. I'm feeling and I'm relating and I'm hurting right there with you, like I can feel what you're feeling, and like it's my own, not just yours.

Anyway, I'm glad I've started reading your stuff. It's really a joy.

Keep up the good work, and keep ya head up. Things will get better. I think I've said it before, but it's important to love yourself before giving love away. It's a hard lesson to learn, and it's hard to put it into practice even after you've learned it, but you'll be thankful for it.

This poem is just amazing. The depth of your message combined with the pain and hope. You have a pure talent.

Great Poem..Very Vivid with Great Flow.. Thank you for sharing..5/5

I really love this write Yaki for it is so full of emotion. When I read it in MM it felt as though I was living through your words.

What really got me was your ending line
"I am as hungry as ever. "

I had to sit for a moment and gather myself before posting it.

Wonderful write Yaki!

"all that I am
is a combination of brain cells
that have the potential
to stand on mountain tops-
but settle for the view
they get half way up.."

In a slightly ironic sarcastic, sadistic way..
sorrow is the best thing that happened to you...its the best thing that happened to soul speaking poets.

For me the first stanza sets the stage for the the whole poem:

This emptiness
I have inside
goes far beyond
anything I once
thought I'd be able
to feel..

From then on the poem had a life of it's own and carried the reader through to the end. A very emotional and deep write. Thought provoking indeed.

This is a beautiful piece..

"this anger
contaminated the purity
that once ran
through my veins..

there has been
weight loss,
or maybe just loss..

but somehow,
the bones can't
make up
for the sleepless nights
and the hopelessness.."

Those lines really hit hard a..its good reading something one created, we can connect with.. even for a moment. Great job !! 5/5