Comments : Unveiled Aura

  • 12 years ago

    by ArtistrySoul

    Nice poem, but the end seems a bit typical in terms of getting the idea from the pirates of the carribean, not sure what you were trying to convey there towards the reader

    when you said "- Cherish me", its obvious to say protect or care for you, but you can't really ask someone to cherish them its something the other person would say or do e.g. its similar in telling your other half "Love me" which doesn't make sense.

    Overall it was ok

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Amazing Meme... I think this is some style I see for the first time. I like the shortness of syllables in each line, that's why it had some melody. And with every word, I can sense some power of thoughts and existence. the end, too.... it left me speechless!

    love the 'black pearl' .. maybe that would be more sautable as a title.

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    Thanks. But the idea was not from the movie, I never even watched it or know what kind of story its all about.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    Hey hun,

    I love some of the images here.

    Don't drift
    away from the
    roughness I hide
    in; I may be a
    sorcerous.. But
    who knows ?
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Dont' drift away from the roughness. I find that you're saying here that everyone has a flaw and no one is perfect. You may be something else you may not be. More like don't judge a book by its cover.

    I awaited endless
    waves for you to
    catch me, to
    mesmerize you.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I love this. The image of waves is so beautiful and waiting for the one you love is romantic

    Black Pear - Something very unique.

    Awesome

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    /Don't drift
    away from the
    roughness I hide
    in; //

    I loved the way you have put it. I interpreted roughness as someone not gentle rather strong, in the way they conduct themselves or harsh, usually situtations in life turns one like that. People may start typecasting them.

    /It takes eternity
    to understand
    my aura; rarity.
    //
    I loved the tone ... the attitude in these lines. Goes very well with the roughness that you mentioned before.

    a very well written poem.

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    There is something about this poem that is really grabs the reader. It's short and dynamic in tone and flow
    Good job as usual

  • 12 years ago

    by Kiko

    This is a cute poem with some interesting imagery. I do agree with LP that the title should be changed to "Black Pearl," and then you would not need to have the words "black pearl" in the poem, since the reader would know that is what you are trying to describe.

    Also, "sorcerous" should be "sorceress."

    Overall, nicely penned!

  • 12 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Wow, this is beautiful, did I forget to comment hehe, I am still in a wow state everytime read this. And actually I disagree with kiko and Lp, it made it very interesting to have your own way of describing an unveiled Aura..wow so creative in my opinion..

    you are a creative person, and such a precious pearl to my heart.
    This is magnificent.

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    I am so enchanted by this poem! it is so beautiful, and was unique and different. I love the topic, and I love how you wrote this, the flow was so breezy and nice to read, lol if that makes sense.

    I LOVE the title btw - I think not only are you a great and amazing poet, but you are really wonderful with choose great titles! I think a great title is really important!

    This poem was such a lovely read... it's flawless and enchanting... for some reason I thought of The Little Mermaid and Pirates of the Caribbean (but that's only because of the black pearl part) .. I love how you know your self-worth and you compare yourself to a rare and unique black pearl. It was a beautiful comparison, and you really are an amazing person!

    Amazing poem sweetie :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This is my favourite poem so far among your collection, been reading it over and over for days. Couldn't just find the right words to shower praises on this exquisite and rare type of poetry. Using a gem to compose a poem is unique but 'black pearl' is out of space. The poem differs in various meaning to me, has a touch of challenge, self-esteem, discovery and sadness. It's a total package, i think you're talking about yourself here but in a subtle manner with a sophisticated approach. Excellent and so so so amazing, KUDOS!!! Dear ;-}