Comments : Growing Ice

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    What an amazing 200th
    You just penned it with this one.

    I feel like a blizzard of snow,
    almost like a field of
    growing ice; unable to breathe
    while being flooded with
    a blast of rainfalls.
    ^^
    a field of growing ice, I just loved the image you painted in my mind with this line, so original and deep.

    But I just, won't melt...
    As if, I am meant to suffer.
    I am shocking with time
    while time is shocking
    inside of me, around me,
    becoming a part of me
    ^^
    This was my favorite verse. The repeatition of "me" just made it more personal, and it just added some magical harmony to the flow.

    In the seasons fleeing
    infront of my everlasting winter,
    and the sunsets traveling behind
    my faint eyes; stuck at the final
    hours before dawn.
    ^^
    Thats exactly what I am seeing right now too. Just felt lost with this verse.

    How the hell, do I survive?
    To escape, from my ownself.
    ^^
    How can you ever abandon your ownself and just run away from "you". This just gave the ending that dramatic factor that leaves you asking yourself the same question. How can I escape?

    Amazing masterpiece sweetie.
    :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    A very sad poem indeed. The metaphors are awesome and I loved the last stanza which is so powerful.

    How can escape when you can't survive from yourself. We are our own weakness and sometimes it is us that brings us down, sometimes not.

    Brilliant poem babe

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    An amazing write though I think 'shocking' reads a little bit off, and I was totally enticed by the gloomy, icy mood you have set, but when I reached How the HELL lol, I grinned!! Is it meant for mockery? If so, it's nice.. ;)

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I feel like a blizzard of snow,
    almost like a field of
    growing ice; unable to breathe
    while being flooded with
    a blast of rainfalls.

    ^I love the imagery Nana, Its beautifully sad, like sad beyond imaginable yet beautifully worded. To feel like growing ice, indicates to feel cold and alone, and painful, and its getting colder

    But I just, won't melt...
    As if, I am meant to suffer.
    I am shocking with time
    while time is shocking
    inside of me, around me,
    becoming a part of me

    ^No-one is meant to suffer, we just do, and I know whats meant by time consuming you, depression takes time and thats something we dont always have enough of

    In the seasons fleeing
    infront of my everlasting winter,
    and the sunsets traveling behind
    my faint eyes; stuck at the final
    hours before dawn.

    How the hell, do I survive?
    if I can't escape,
    from my ownself.

    ^I agree, just how I feel, this was such a sad piece, amazingly sad, but I hope you find peace and comfort soon deary,
    We all have demons inside ourselves, killing us piece by piece, but we can escape, we can free, just needs hope and sometimes we dont have that

    I know exactly what this poem means to me, and I can relate to it 110%

    amazing Nana

    love always
    xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This is so lovely, nature used to incorporate thoughts about our feelings. I'm short of words, nature is among my best theme for poems. Sad emotions radiating through the words though with a will to survive through such melancholic phase. And this really got me speechless, very crisp and the flow is smooth like honey. Written articulately. SUPERB!!!

  • 12 years ago

    by CuteThingsGoneWrong

    I love the incorporation on ice.. Its beautiful..
    This piece shows quite how I feel almost all the time and yet in all the despair , with how i read it , i feel as though when reading it i stop almost as if to question oneself on what i am saying, on what i am feeling.

    This poem really makes me think and i think you penned down exactly the right words.
    The only thing i would say is that a poem like this, to me, feels like itd need more emotion then just the description, more raw and feeling...

    But i feel very wrong telling you that because i believe you know your own poetry well enough to pen your words exactly how you want them to be heard... So i believe, even though in my opinion, that it might look and sound and feel better the way im imagining you wanted it to be like this and so...

    It is perfect in the way you have written it. Thank you Nana for sharing a lovely piece with this world