Comments : No Visual Sleep

  • 12 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Awwwwwwww this was soo cute. I loved the "WOW!!" at the beginning :) and "now I can stop movie dreaming" sweeeeeeeetest poem .. I loves it :)

  • 12 years ago

    by ArtistrySoul

    Thx again =), all poems and quotes come from the beat of my heart, it makes the poem or quote more personal <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This is a pretty piece, however there are a few grammatical issues...

    "streaming wind flow essence of paradise

    How about: streaming winds, flowing with essence of paradise

    loving you forever is haunting me but not wrong

    ^^^instead of not wrong... try , "yet not misguided" or something with a bit more elegance....

    I finally found you,
    now I can stop movie dreaming
    and kiss you like a melody <3 xxx <3

    Your last three lines are very nice... really love the last line... however the texting hearts and xxx's make this poem read like a forward you would receive in a cell phone...

    This is a very pretty poem... just a few touches here and there would make it dazzle... hope I was of some help... well done~

  • 12 years ago

    by ArtistrySoul

    Thank you for your lovely comments =), very much appreciated and yes i do need to amend some of my poems but not had the chance to at the moment.

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Its a short and sweet piece. I think it is creative in a way and very well written. Great job.

  • 10 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    Wow. I love the nature element you put into this. You have a way with your words. Your imagery and metaphors are flawless. Love truly is like a flower though. Beautiful and full of color. I love the tourth line because love can also be a scary thing but if it done right you don't ever feel helpless.

    So romantic is the second stanza you paint such a beautiful picture with your words. And we always day dream about finding true love. Which is why I love the movie wording. We all want to find someone to give the little kisses to. Your poems are great. 5