Comments : If Knives Could Kiss

  • 5 years ago

    by BurriedFaceDown

    I love this poem!
    I can feel all the pain and anger from it. With each word I read I felt chills go down my spine. The poem is also very relatable to anyone who has felt once loved but then betrayed.

    ~BurriedFaceDown

  • 5 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    WOW..... Intense, well written, and I'm speechless....

  • 5 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    First the title is great, it makes the reader very curious to the content.
    Deep , dark and bone chilling. I enjoyed the read very much. Keep them coming and watch out Stephan King :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Inspriwriter

    Such a well-written poem. I was inticed from the very beginning. Well done,very well done

  • 5 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    AMAZING ! :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Ste

    Another splendid rap-type poem. Spat on the page with real emotion. I particularly like the line "cold kiss of sinless steel". Yours or remembered / borrowed?
    This sends a chill because it is real. I hope the cigs and coffee got rid of those feelings. (I usually just kick the dog.................kidding folks!)

  • 5 years ago

    by Xionide

    Every line I write is my own dude.

  • 5 years ago

    by CuteThingsGoneWrong

    I think *note word think* he means the emotions are either yours or borrowed but i cant say for sure.

    A lot of the time when i right i look at someones emotions and i write it out telling how it might have been for them.

    Or maybe im just crazy

  • 5 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Simply outstanding!! Loved it right from the start. It surely takes a skill to express violence so beautifully. Great write.

    all the best and take care

  • 5 years ago

    by Chevalier des Fleurs

    Another gripping poem that grasps the reader by the throat sort of speak, or the bull by it's horns. very clever, very well written. Amazing job. 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I love this poem all too much.

    Just a gentle kiss smoothly sliding from ear to ear
    Shh don't scream, close your mouth, taste the fear
    Once bitten, twice shy no forgiving, hate will persevere
    Feel its embrace upon your neck, try count to three
    With this kiss, I give to you all the pain you've given me.

    ^^ Stunning start extraordinary technique of gripping us. "With this kiss, I give to you all the pain you have given me," Is my favorite line of all.

    Such heartless evil always backfires, time is all it takes
    When that day comes, my kiss shall end all your mistakes
    Exposing your nasty soul, praying that your spirit breaks
    I will laugh, as those tears you taste become all too real
    Mixed with blood, from the cold kiss of sinless steel.

    ^^ I love the feel here. All the negativity in something that simply is for so many people. This stanza made me wanna read the next one fast then think it over because I was so intrigued.

    The amount that is bled, is but the conscience clearing
    Slowly draining away, gradually unable of even hearing
    Realisation will sink deep when the end is nearing,
    Just don't say that I haven't warned you or anyone
    Because you ruined me! now the fun has just begun.

    YJust a gentle kiss smoothly sliding from ear to ear
    Shh don't scream, close your mouth, taste the fear
    Once bitten, twice shy no forgiving, hate will persevere
    Feel its embrace upon your neck, try count to three
    With this kiss, I give to you all the pain you've given me.

    Such heartless evil always backfires, time is all it takes
    When that day comes, my kiss shall end all your mistakes
    Exposing your nasty soul, praying that your spirit breaks
    I will laugh, as those tears you taste become all too real
    Mixed with blood, from the cold kiss of sinless steel.

    The amount that is bled, is but the conscience clearing
    Slowly draining away, gradually unable of even hearing
    Realisation will sink deep when the end is nearing,
    Just don't say that I haven't warned you or anyone
    Because you ruined me! now the fun has just begun.

    Oh how it would be if knives could truly kiss a twisted soul
    Saying "I loved you" as pain becomes too much to control
    Watching the eyes plea for mercy you shall see my goal,
    To feel its embrace upon your neck, try count to three
    With this kiss, I give to you all the pain you've given me.

    ^^ Man, this stanza is so real to me. I can really see everything and I know some of the feelings described here, I can imagine them so clearly here...

    Oh how it would be if knives could truly kiss a twisted soul
    Saying "I loved you" as pain becomes too much to control
    Watching the eyes plea for mercy you shall see my goal,
    To feel its embrace upon your neck, try count to three
    With this kiss, I give to you all the pain you've given me.

    ^^ This stanza is the perfect end. I figured it would be difficult to end such a piece, however it seems as though you had no troubles at all with it. I think this was a magnificent way to wrap up all the emotion and pain and everything that lays within this piece.

    The emotion is clear and expressed so well. I love the tone you created, because it just adds something so amazing to this piece. It makes everything all that much more real. All your descriptions, both imagery and feeling, are so real; you put me in this position. Oh my, the word choice was immaculate. The style and flow were perfect. All the subtle rhymes seemed to be a wonderful touch. Thank you for writing such a piece.

    5/5 but in my head I awarded it much more.

    ~MRK

  • 5 years ago

    by Andrea

    Wow... Very nice, & gentle poem