This poem has a sweet aura about it, the wording is simple, but sometimes simple is better, and for a first poem, you could do worse lol, this is actually good.

"
Against this pain I will fight
And I'll succeed with all my might"

this part is great, its to the point but subtle.

"
It's worth the wait seeing u sleep"

only thing id change is not to take shortcuts with words such as you. all in all, nicely done for a first

Thank you for your opinion :D
and the 'u' was just a bad habit x3,
just changed it.

I appreciate your comment very much, thx.

I really love it I don't know if I'd change a thing,,just the way you wrote this amazing lovely sweet poem makes it complete and magnificent,,it may not look perfect but it is and it may not look neet but it's sweet,,this is a really good write and good imagery,,keep up the good work :) 5/5

I think that this poem has potential because it definately shows how much she means to you and that you enjoy every moment with her. During sleep one is at peace mostlikely and probably vulnerable too, but you're there to take care of her.

To be it just feels a little as if you focused on making the rhymes work, which is fine, but that made them a little predictable too, if that makes any sense lol

Innocent love...for your first poem its real good...sweetly simple and clear :) You should write more...looking forward for your work...thumbs up to u...5/5

I do love elegant and simple....very sweet and romantic ~

Thank you for your comments

I'm about to write a new poem, Valentine's Day coming soon :D