Comments : The Pugilist

  • 12 years ago

    by Kiko

    I really like the idea of this poem, and you have a lot of nice phrases and boxing imagery tossed in here.

    The major problem I have with this, is that you spend half the time "telling" the story and half the time "showing" the story. When you are "telling" the story, it slows the poem down and makes it seem cliche. You also repeat things like "jabs" and "one two three," etc, which also makes the poem lose momentum.

    And, you should not use the word "pugilist" in the poem, since it is the title. The poem is about a pugilist, so every time you use that word, it loses some of its strength.