Pretty good

this is my favorite part

"Then the infinite horizons will
conspire to lay entangled with
the distracted firmament, evidently
And the oceans will continue
to burn eternally. ."

Portend definition 1. to indicate in advance; to foreshadow or presage, as an omen does. It does seem that the peoples of the world are hell bent on self destruction, destruction of others, destruction of the world as we know it, destruction of earth. You only have to listen to the news daily to see that this is true. Rather than give in to all the doom and gloom around me, I choose to believe that society will come to its senses soon. Perhaps one would consider that seeing the world with blinders on but it is not, it is simply my optimistic view of things.

On the techinical side, in this line, I think the word submerge should be submerged.

I LOVE poems that pertain to our future and I have to say that this poem was pretty much on target as far as the content and the topic. I really liked and also enjoyed the larger vocabulary in this piece as I was forced to learn some new words, which I always like to do. But in some areas I think the bigger words took away from the poem as you do have to stop reading and that messes up the flow so I have to restart again. The poem hit many topics and I like the idea and where you went with it. The emotions felt from this poem are despair and worry as one can simply imagine the outcome of what our world is coming to. Also the imagery in this poem was very strong and I was able to get many images from your lines and the poem had a really good flow to it to add.

"Then the infinite horizons will
conspire to lay entangled with
the distracted firmament, evidently
And the oceans will continue
to burn eternally. ."
^^^
This had to be my favorite stanza as I really loved the imagery on oceans burning eternally as you said. It would be hard to imagine that but I still got a image of what it would be like and it made this stanza really strong. I'm not sure if I like the dots at the end though because it seems to long of a pause going into the last stanza. It could just be how I read it to.

All in all, I really loved this poem and I am always interested in what people think about the future and what it may hold. Anyway, though I really enjoyed reading this piece and am looking forward to reading more. You have a really great talent and I am glad you are using it. Great job and keep writing!

Reconstruct the strands of vigilant time
and cull the pixaleted history
Berate as cities burn beneath
the galvatron moon - oxidizing

^An eye catching opening to this poem for your words make the images come to life! Its like seeing the slow demise of the world.

Reconfigure the routes of misfiring consciences

^Misfiring consciences..yes this line shows how a clean consciences can easily get corrupted by greed. At least that is what I got from reading this line..interesting!

Then the infinite horizons will
conspire to lay entangled with
the distracted firmament, evidently
And the oceans will continue
to burn eternally. .

^I must say, not only is this a strong stanza with strong images but it is also the one that I like..especially the thought of a burning ocean..excellent write!

Whenever I read your poems, a feeling of me turning into a soldier,, caving in a battle,, clings to me.

That means, you move me!! great:)

Hope is a paradox. The Absurdist talked about that all the time and yet, we need it to survive the establisment. I don't know if there will be a dawn for us or if this dawn will happen when we become unbearable light beings, able to forgive and forget. I have heard of mass cleansing here and it really scares me shiltless because I wonder how things will be weighed and judged. You know our androcentric society will only change when the minorities start to be heard too. People are still slaves to labels and blindness. Maybe things will be different some day and we will be able to respect our brothers and sisters and above all, we will be able to respect Mother Earth. Excellent write.

There is a lot of darkness portrayed in this poem which can be seen through the words.

Again there's a whole bunch of new words I needed to look up and learn which was great! It keeps my mind active as well. Though I would really love to see what wriggles in that brain of yours because to come up with a poem like this is awesome. To know so many elements and scientific jargon and to be able to put it into poetry the way you do, is so good to see.

You are obviously one smart cookie!!!

I've only really started to read your last few poems from before and they've always got me thinking.

The poem itself makes me think of something out of dooms day. The idea about a terrible future and what it would be like.

Awesome!!!

x

Your poems are always deep and thoughtful. I enjoyed the tone of this as it speaks the truth. Yor wording as always is brilliant and knowledgeable. Good job bro, love your work

Wish I could take you to school each day .......your vocabulary is outstanding .........but to design poetry with it is a masterpiece !

The frame work of this civilization will collpase
under the threshold of a holocaust, mass cleansing

This is simply amazing, so much to imagine between every word. Loved every bit of it.

all the best and take care

Weekly contest, judge comment:

I'm going to be honest. I really liked this poem because I was enthralled by your use of vocabulary. I've read some of your other word and find your voice to be a bit muddled by too many fanciful words, but this one was spot on methinks.

I really really loved this poem..... I loved the use of vocabulary and it tended to flow pretty well. amazing 5/5

Wow, I loved this poem no matter who you wrote it for. It's so amazing and the wording is such a cool flow off the tongue.

(Yes, I seriously just said that. Haha.)

5/5

-Heather