Not bad for an experiment. Your reverse sourpatch is excellent. You could ditch the first line & vastly improve the work. Well done.

You made the changes and succeeded in expressing your anger without a single curse. I will nominate the poem as promised.

This has potential but I would go back and work on making your poem structuralized and coloring in this theme. You love this person and hate them, show that confliction with your own unique voice, and let the reader see why, give it imagery. It seems you just go off and ramble. Don't use text words so frequently unless you think they prove a point, and I think the title could be a lot more improved. Maybe somethng more thoughtful and provoking, the title reveals nothing about the poem and doesn't add any character. I suggest re-working this poem a lot, what angle do you want to take on it? What reactions do you seek? And what emotions are you playing and bringing to the stage? This is all just my opinion but hope it helps.

Good luck and keep writing.