The Ribbon

by RedDragon   Feb 18, 2012


Looking down at her dead face
I tie the ribbon in a foolish way
The delicious fragility of her china doll complexion
The atmosphere feels so heavy with this travesty
Her loved ones will remember her smile and her laugh
Looking into their tearful eyes
I can see their one wish!

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  • 12 years ago

    by Whispy.Gypsy

    Short but great and alot of what i would say Miss Prolific Poetess has already said it lol but i rate it a 5/5 cuz it has deep meaning to it and if u need any thing im here just msg me and ill reply asap

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow, I can see the majority of this short piece actually happening. Though to me it makes no sense... maybe thats just me, maybe it is cause it is early, but whichever reason it is it does not matter. Because this piece is well written. The word choice is simple, and the style is unique in the way you actually wrote it. The flow gets off in some places and hardly contributes any to this piece.

    I have to say this is a 4/5 though if I could I'd probably really give it a 3.7ish,,,

    I hope to read more from you and I hope this helped you in some way.

    MRK

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