INCREDIBLE!!! You've got a knack for detail and imagery. I feel like I can't give this a worthy response (just because I have a hard time putting it into words) but this really is remarkable. It's very dark, the sense of hopelessness is strong. It's filled with sorrow in a way- this place you've always known isn't nearly the same anymore. I liked the nostalgic touch, when you pointed out that that the sweet bakery, Manny's, had burned to the ground. That in itself was symbolic. This place now putrid with sin...seemingly left for dead as well as reeking of death (in a more figurative sense) I really love this poem! Amazingly written. You were able to capture the dark vibe of this sad city...it's tragic, possessing great depth. At least SOMEONE takes notice...right? You're omniscient view gives the poem great effect. Just wow. 5/5!
5 years ago
by Ronel McCarthy
You are so wicked with your gorgeous poetry ! Awesome write :)
Your the best in portraying thoughts through nature. A lovely and intoxicating piece, fantastic and clear imagery. Telling in summary the ills that happens in the vicinity. In as much as you wish to stay in the environs, nature says no because its been stained with murder and nasty happenings. I love how deep the words get into one. I admire your writing prowess. Take care, blessings to you dear. Cheers! :)
5 years ago
I feel like I've been given a map and placed within the city you speak of. It was SO vivid and intense, it truly made me feel as if I knew exactly the places you were describing. So descriptive, something you rock at.
"allow the moon to devour the demons, "
This is beautfiul. Ahh it just made sense to me! I adore this.