Final Breath (Etheree)

by Lioness   Feb 24, 2012


That
moment,
when you took
your final breath,
it was then I chose
to die right there with you,
for I could not bring myself
to live this life of mine without
spending one more day looking into
the eyes that I had fallen in love with.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    Oh this is simply beautiful. The poem contains such sorrow. You speak of such a sad moment yet you managed to organise the emotional content of the poem so that the reader could connect with the piece. You put everything in right sport so that no line was out of place. Short but well put.

    Excellent!

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Liz, this is amazingly melancholic.
    Flawless!

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This is such a sweet, smooth and sad etheree. I love how it flowed freely, taking a shape of its own. A profound piece. So intense and real, fear of loosing is a great loss but can't be escaped. It all glooms to a dull end but so beautifully.

    Amazing great piece dear, take care, BRAVO! :-)..

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Perfectly written in an amazing form. It's reality when you love someone and you lose them.
    excellent

  • 12 years ago

    by Karla

    Beautiful etheree Liz. Simply lovely.

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