Wow! This is emotive of sadness. A lovely description of the idolized Queen of all times. A beauty reckoned and a reign full of power infused with passions empathy. You within few lines described her persona, feelings, people and the timing of this epoch beauty's royalty. So beautiful is she the sky turns crimson in her presence whilst the moon glorifies her. Sadness is her company as she's feared the most cunning and charming Queen.
A ruler whose wrath can only be seen as an infusion of deeply rooted distraught accumulated overtime with embers of passions for affection. I loved how you added detailing, describing the timing of this event in history. A very different theme, gets one thinking and pondering about once upon a time an exotic beauty's love and insistent power that never was cleansed.
Wow, this is very different. I have never read anything about Cleopatra before, it is very unique.
She lurked behind corridors
disguised as a queen
eyeliner, thick as the River Nile
feeling alone within her kingdom
- What i got from this was the lonileness, since you have used the words queen and kingdom - you create the idea of "having everything" therefor being truly happy and wanting nothing else. Yet, your last line really stands out because despite all of this, she feels so alone.
Eyes, sharp as an eagles gaze
she glances across the palace
searching for a friendly smile
detached from a world she once knew.
- again you can pick up her loneliness from your last line, the desperation she is feeling to seek human companionship and perhaps the feeling of love. I liked your opening line, clearly describing the look in her eyes.
Golden goblets laced with poison
soothing the lost ones souls
petitioning her to lead them calmly
to the promised land of peace.
- I loved this stanza, and your first line here is my favourite line I think. I think the flow to it is amazing but yet still holding so much power. I also like how it feels more like a narrated story here than a poem, you can feel yourself being drawn in to listen to more.
As the dark skies kiss the sunlight
Her followers leave her side
Whispering their endless goodbyes
She then becomes a sculpted statue
With tears In her eyes....
- a really good ending, one of sadness because she did not find her companionship or acceptance. I also liked the very last line, " with tears in her eyes" - for me, it gave me the impression of how we say R.I.P to the dead, but in some cases, like this, you wonder if their pain and loneliness will ever truly end.
I loved the way you used so much powerful words in this poem but yet still managed to make such an easy flow.
I really enjoyed this and think it shows off your creativity. Thank you for sharing such a powerful work of words.