Comments : Me

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    Kay*

    You did a wonderful job at the prompt/challenge given, incorporating a lot of your traits, and it seems to really fit you (the good ones, of COURSE lol). You have a lot of wisdom in this poem, a lot of pieces that I found myself reading over and over thinking 'yeah, that makes sense' or going over it thinking it reminded me of an old proverb.

    "but the truth,
    is better to be known
    than avoided."

    I particularly liked this piece, I felt it rang very true as I have the same type of personality here, people see it as harsh, but when you've been hurt so many times by a lie, you don't want to lie to others.

    "But isn't destiny
    a road not of choice
    but of
    certainty."

    This was another piece that struck me as it is so wise. I love poetry that makes me think, gives me that awe factor, and your poem here did that. Everyone did a great job and each stood out on their own. You definitely wrote of truth and of yourself, which is usually the hardest part of it all. I really liked how you used Mercury in the ending, bringing in all aspects of your "birth" within the stars.

    Second stanza is definitely my favorite. :) You did such a great job! I do feel, though, that the title is bland in comparison to the poem. It's not as catchy, and I hope you're able to find something strong (ooh, The Virgin, that'll catch some eyes, haha!) and get more people in to read this beauty!

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Ugh, :@ where is the pen for me to hit people with.

    I seriously can't stand how much talent we have in M&M..

    its like, the day all of you were created, God made you open up your mouths like baby pigeons and shoved a whole bunch of talent down your throats.

    and you tell me, I am the one who has a thing with words? Oh.. puhlease.

    "You see, Mercury
    was hidden somewhere
    among my birth"

    this was my favorite part,I love the way you used "hidden" it gives me the idea that your birth wasn't planned, that it just happened, and things were found just then..

    Further, I like how the poem in itself
    looks like a list,
    I don't know if it was on purpose.
    but I see, you took every virgo trait, step by step and arranged it to match who you are, I LOVE,how..for all the negatives they say we have you responded with a positive, how it was like brutal...

    "this is me, deal with it"

    but the tone was still calm,
    and the piece read smoothly.

    I love all of it...all of it.

    the ending, I liked..because
    you said "I am virgo" and not

    "I am a virgo"

    you spoke for the sign in its totallity and not just you.

    love it babyGurl, Rock on Virgo Sistah!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A wonderful write that I read twice and thoroughly enjoyed twice! A philosophical piece that really made me think.
    All the best
    Ben