Uncalled-for

by Meme   Mar 20, 2012


It has been a while since
you last visited; loneliness.
Why is it only you who come
visiting me these days? I don't
ever recall myself missing you.

You come bearing with your
silence this aching emptiness,
but you always deceive me by
wrapping it up with the serenity
of a new moon in a dark night.

I don't think I can survive another
midnight with you by my side. Go
find another one who may be calling
for your companionship, and always
know that I will miss you not.

I just swallowed your final dose
tonight, and I admit it, you won
again. So rebirth a new meaning
to my life, or simply take it away
in your trip to find a new solitary.

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© Copyright 2012 by: gIrL
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3


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    When I read this poem for the first time, I was blown away by how I felt afterwards.

    Everyone has had a visit from Loneliness and can relate, but the way the author of this poem creatively wrote this was breathtaking.

    The title: When I choose a poem, the title needs to grip me in some way, and when I read the title, my first thought was "Uh oh, somebodies going to get a chewing out"!, as I started to read, I was hooked on this poem immediately!
    First stanza: What a powerful first stanza, she's talking to loneliness and questioning as to why for so many visits, and I found this a unique approach and I could feel her frustration.
    Second stanza: I loved how she then proceeds to call out loneliness about deception with the "serenity of a new moon in a dark night" I really loved this ending line of the second stanza!!
    Third stanza: Oh my heart weighed heavy on this one... and I felt like crying, taking me back to days of my dreary loneliness visits. The ending line again made me smile, letting loneliness know that it will not be missed!
    Ending stanza: At this point, the first few lines really did make me cry, and I wanted to hug the author letting her know I truly understood and when the poem ended I had a pile of tissues piling up on my lap top!

    As I close my comment I just want to say, what a unique and creative way of expressing the sad emotions that are felt when loneliness visits! Powerful poem, well done gIrL aka Meme

  • 6 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This poem is full of lovely imagery and the flow is brisk like the air. To me its about the subjects decision to cut off contact, be it a frosty friendship or a troubling relationship. He or she has been trying to manage the alliance but nothing rewarding is worth her time. There's this daring tone that the subject conveys, which tells one the kind of persona he or she is; an assertive person so to say. I love the metaphor you used in portraying this sad but beatiful poem. The 2nd stanza is my best, such a brilliant poem dear, i love your style. Bless you, Jazakallah!!! ;).

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    When I read this poem for the first time, I was blown away by how I felt afterwards. Everyone has had a visit from Loneliness and can relate, but the way the author of this poem creatively wrote this was breathtaking.

    The title: When I choose a poem, the title needs to grip me in some way, and when I read the title, my first thought was "Uh oh, somebodies going to get a chewing out"!, as I started to read, I was hooked on this poem immediately!

    First stanza: What a powerful first stanza, she's talking to loneliness and questioning as to why for so many visits, and I found this a unique approach and I could feel her frustration.

    Second stanza: I loved how she then proceeds to call out loneliness about deception with the "serenity of a new moon in a dark night" I really loved this ending line of the second stanza!!

    Third stanza: Oh my heart weighed heavy on this one... and I felt like crying, taking me back to days of my dreary loneliness visits. The ending line again made me smile, letting loneliness know that it will not be missed!

    Ending stanza: At this point, the first few lines really did make me cry, and I wanted to hug the author letting her know I truly understood and when the poem ended I had a pile of tissues piling up on my lap top!

    As I close my comment I just want to say, what a unique and creative way of expressing the sad emotions that are felt when loneliness visits! Powerful poem, well done gIrL aka Meme

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Hello thereeee, my dear..this is very sad, a poem to be related to, by many I presume. I love the inner rhyming, I love the idea behind it, and it sounds as if written in a moment of inspiration! Not sure, just how it sounds, because it's all wrapped up on the same idea perfectly, this is how poets nail poems when inspired by something..oorr sadness itself.

    I suggest you to use a semicolon rather than a comma, before loneliness in your second line, it would serve meaning clarity..the way it is right now, makes you feel like someone is visiting "loneliness" as a 1st impression, which doesn't make sense, hence with a 2nd read it sounds right, loneliness visiting you...in your case, so yap..a semicolon sounds better here :] since you're metaphorically refering to "loneliness" as a subject..
    other than that, it's perfect!

  • 6 years ago

    by Matthew Schut

    WOW!!! There is so much emotion in here!! I LOVE THIS POEM!!! wow!!! :) I'm just amazed!!! Good work my friend!!!!