Comments : Disengage my Heart.

  • 5 years ago

    by Britt

    Bliss*

    Oh, the questions. There are two things about your poetry that stand out to me like no others do - the breathy way I read your poetry, and the questions. No one quite does it like you can... it makes me think, makes me wonder, and you starve me for answers that always remain unanswered. You leave so much to the reader to come up with on their own, it's such a tease.

    Your beginning couplet astounds me - that QUESTION again! lol. I know the feeling so well - how are you ever going to find Mr. Right when you're surrounded by so many Mr. Wrong's? This was described in such a perfect way, it had me saying YEAH YOU CAN! I found my Mr. Right in the midst of all the wrongs... you can, too :)

    I like your alliteration with the 'no longer linger nor nurture' - longer and linger together trips up when trying to type it (lol) but when reading it, oh the flow just gets to me. This is one I may have to read aloud.

    The end of your second stanza (the meat of your poem), has my gut wrenching and my heart just aching. Such a sad, sad piece.

    I like the idea of chemistry stinging - so many ways it can all go wrong, and sometimes chemistry isn't always a good thing... it's generally paired with lust in the beginning and then can easily fade when the honeymoon phase wears off. Awesome choice.

    OH MAN is this about that guy? The guy who texts you when you're finally not thinking of him? The end makes me think of him and to be quite frank, it ticks me off. That guy has played you like strings on a guitar and he's so hard to shake. I may have to beat him up lol.

    This is beautiful, sad, and so touching. I feel this is something most people can relate to. Oh what a poem. Love, love it!

  • 5 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Blissy,*

    The contrast in the first two lines definitely caught my attention. It reminded me of a song that goes something like woman of my dress how am I meant to find her when I don't go to sleep. I know you've probably not heard it but it was just that contrast which is something that really intrigues me. It's true that we end up with a lot of roadblocks stopping us from finding what it is we want and need. The symbolism of nightmares I guess could relate to past relationships, the battle of trying to find the right one and too scared to try again once it's ended with something that wasn't what you expected.

    Your second stanza used a lot of alliteration which was really enjoyable! I love this technique when it's done right and you did it really nicely, it wasn't overdone but it was enough to give you that bit of a tongue twister and the 'L' sound that you kept going between the first and second line in lullabies, longer, linger, love's loss created that lingering you generally have in your work. It was clever to include the alliteration of 'N' sounds between the 'L' sounds, quite playful.

    "I still recall the moment I reached
    for your hand;"

    I loved this, the simplicity of the words and yet the emotion was to jam packed, I mean we all know that moment ... it's the butterfly moment really isn't it? Then the warmth, the relaxation, the comfort and familiarity all hit once you've felt it.

    Your love poems have grown so much and I find that I feel them a lot more than I used to way in the past. That's because you've formed your own unique style, one that comes purely from your own heart.

    -Mel