I liked the way you write your poems :) They
are simple yet each line/word carries an image
that sticks to the mind.
I catch a meteor
and craft my wishes
into each crevice
^This opening stanza sets the mood for the
reader and the emotions..like this part!
As I fling it
into the abyss
I hope it carries
I have fought
^Yeah I like the thought here of catching a meteor and flinging it back just to see what it
would bring back a second time..such a tender feeling this stanza holds.
I call on the cosmos
for my rescue
to kiss the lips
that have craved me
yet I lacked the courage
to just let go
^This ending makes the reader sigh as well as
make the reader feel the yearning love the writer holds..lovely piece :)
5 years ago
by Tara Kay
I am really liking this piece, you have a way with words, such simpleness but the metaphors and creativity really forms the perfect poem.
I love the use of meteor's, and how you wrote about crafting things because life is a craft, each day we have to make new things and just keep ourselves going.
Letting go is hard but sometimes it is the only option.
The idea of catching a meteor is something really different, It created a lot of different imagery. Was it a mini meteor? How did you catch it? Was it a large meteor and was this a symbol of strength you have on this topic you're speaking about. I liked the use of the term "craft" it's a nice once, you can craft in so many different ways so again I began to question how did you craft this? You left some ideas open to the audience which is always really good, we can create our own stories from it.
Flinging the meteor again reminds me of that strength of getting rid of something, casting it away for whatever reason you may have. In this case you're trying to get rid of those feelings, the ones you've carried with you for so long. Something I can relate to.
I think the ending was my favourite part, the idea of lacking courage to let go, that line hit me. I interpreted this line in two ways, the first being as you wanted to, the fact of letting go to kiss someone or be with someone or rather to let go and be without them completely.