Fleeing Path(Tanka)

by Yakori bint Muhammed   Apr 13, 2012


25th February, 2012.

Blazing mania of
stars, perish in winter spell,
piling up the trails
treaded on, to seek for the
embed flame that ignites sparks.

(c) Y-MAG

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  • Blazing mania of
    stars, perish in winter spell,

    ^^
    WOW! Such amazing imagery here.
    I can just picture the stars being hidden by thick snow falling from the sky. Beautiful!

    piling up the trails
    treaded on, to seek for the

    ^^
    I believe this is a 'syllable count' necessary poem - so I can understand this, but I don't think 'treaded' is a word - I think it may simply be 'tread' --I'm not definite though.
    Great continuation from the first lines. (:

    embed flame that ignites sparks.

    ^^
    A brilliant ending - it kind of draws everything together:
    *stars - like little 'sparks' of light in the sky
    *winter - fire is needed for warmth
    _______________________________
    OVERALL;
    I really like this piece. Short but sweet and quite a depth for such a piece.
    Beautiful word choice - a clear image was created throughout. Well done!

    Stunning piece. 5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Nema

    This is AMAZING! :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Though am not that familiar with Tankas, this was amazing and beautiful, maybe i will try one myself, you are an inspiration.

  • 6 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Im starting to love Tankas and Haikus when I use to not! This made me love them more! Perfect Perfect words here darling!

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Ohhhh this tanka is beautiful... I love the flow and wording....very nice Sister!!

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