Comments : Surrender.

  • 5 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Ah this is absolutely gorgeous Bliss. I see so much vulnerability in this piece. Some people do have their way with words which allows you to let your guard down sometimes. I really loved the usage of gingerly, it not only fits in well but is so much better than you saying he speaks sweetly to you. Spices it up a bit & sounds wonderful. Well done, loved this!

  • 5 years ago

    by Akerele1 Segun22

    Nice piece,powerful poet.

  • 5 years ago

    by Akerele1 Segun22

    Nice piece,powerful poet.

  • 5 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    A short piece, yet it delivers the images and message so well.

    A nice read.

  • 5 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Bliss,*

    Your love pieces have grown.

    I'd always have something to say in the past about them, about how you weren't hitting me with the emotion. You know I never meant that in a bad way, I just knew your ability to be emotional and sincere, loving and creative all in one was part of who you are. I just didn't think you had fully unleashed it yet but here I am. This poem intrigued me. Here is why.

    You've created something passionate within these lines, seductive even. The seduction is sensual rather than sexual and that's what I really like. You've got a grasp on writing poems that are a little spicy yet subtle in the way they do so. I don't know if it was your intention for this poem to come off that way but the "take me" at the end had such a tone to it, provoking, that I had to create these connections.

    You have some strong words, thick even. I like the use of brute and gingerly especially together. Ginger as a spice is so thick and dominate and it works here. Brute is definitely an opposite of this and I don't know if you've heard of it but it's also a cologne (brut) but it's got a really thick sent to it too and represented the man for me perfectly here.

    "among" was the only word that trapped me here. Personally I would have put amongst but I'm probably grammatically incorrect (as usual). I just didn't like the sound of the word used in that context strangely enough.

    I think I'm most fond of the opening and closing lines. Both strong and powerful, both using everyday language to their advantage. It entices the reader.

    Lovely one Blissy!
    Mel

  • 5 years ago

    by Omar

    Great poem. It may be short, but you still sent a message. Awesome work :)