Comments : THE PENITENCE

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    With due respect, I think the titles will look better if you don't capitalize the whole letters, and the poem if you divide it into stanzas. But that's just a suggestion. :)

    • 11 years ago

      by Akerele1 Segun22

      My powerful comrade,i thank you for that suggestion. But,by capitalizing the title,does that has any impact on the whole poem. Secondly,the poem is in verse form. It's because i input it with a small browsing phone that it's why is in that form. But i did appreciate the suggestion.Thanks, bro.

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Hmm.. the capitalization does make the title 'stand out' and make this piece 'stronger'.. But in terms of the guidelines, it is stated that you should: "NOT submit texts in CAPITAL LETTERS.", unless it is needed in the poem, perhaps?
    Anyway, when I first read it, I agree with Luce, it should be in stanzas to read better, but as you've said, it's hard to when you're using your phone, so I'll let that slide.
    I like the poem itself for the topic it presents. I grew up with a family, so devoted, and we do penitence every holy week. So this is relatable to me..
    "As a lantern (.)To lighten myopic
    eyes"---to be honest, I wasn't expecting a metaphor like that, but it's a great surprise, I like finding treasures like this in poems, making this piece stand out. The period was unnecessary, so I suggest it be eradicated to keep the flow smooth.
    Overall, I like it. Really well-done, sir. Keep writing
    -X