Comments : Cerelia

  • 11 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    Good Lord Queen.. :)

    Now this poem is chock full of darkness! The details of your poem are amazing. Its like I can see her dead body on the forest floor...

    But please check this line:her clothes would tore and rot

    ^^^^ something seems off I think you need tare for tore, or use torn and rotten, instead-eliminating would. (you'll figure it out)

    your poems are always so vivid!

  • 11 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Nominated. Will be in here again, soon! :D

  • 11 years ago

    by ronel mccarthy

    Awesome sensory poem about the transience of life .....the smell of death and decay in 'devoid of freshness..' 'Foliage would soon breed' it shows how processes in life is intertwined with nature and its changing seasons. Potent as always ;)

  • 11 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    Absolutely beautiful, Myryn. You amaze me every time. <3

  • 11 years ago

    by Colm

    I'm a little confused (probably in a good way) as to who the 'she' is in this poem. The title is a word/name I'm unfamiliar with, so I looked it up and google threw back to me that it meant Spring. Is the character in this poem a season, a mystical being, or a real person, a decaying body? It's somewhat ambiguous and can be interpreted in different ways, which I like. It makes the reader think about it and delve into it. Although I admit I'm probably missing the point in some places! For example, the mossy veins: I see them as either vines or nettles or perhaps trails or organisms in the forest that brings it to life? But I still feel I may be missing something

    The word use in general is economical and I like the pacing of the poem, even the way it's read makes it seem well put together. One thing I was a little iffy on was this line: 'a vague scent of life is diffused' - I couldn't image what a scent of life would smell like: is there such a thing? Part of my confusion may stem from the fact that the poem is perhaps not quite totally abstract yet not quite totally realistic, and the balance is just a little off. It's hard to put into words coherently, I guess what I mean is that its hard to know when to read it literally or metaphorically. A large part of that is probably my mis-interpretation, but it may in part cause some of my mis-interpretation also, which wouldn't be such a good thing. I can't really decide which it is, but it's an intriguing poem with good imagery nonetheless. My comment may have raised more questions than answers, but I'd be interested to know what you intended the 'she' to be, it might clear things up and help me read it correctly :) I'm glad I came across this piece again, intriguing as always!

  • 11 years ago

    by The Princess

    This is beautiful, Myryn.

    I don't know why I got that image of a spring goddess. I could see her on the forest floor, suffocating almost, with roots around her waist and legs and hair a mess. as she grows weaker. I could see her remembering the time she used be the pride and queen of this forest, the image flashing in front of her tired (panicked?) eyes. I could see the traces of hope return to her eyes though as she vows to return, as powerful as before, or even more so, by the end of this write. She knows that it's only her outer layer that will be gone, however her essence will remain, forever.

  • 11 years ago

    by Blissful

    I love how this piece started...I felt like I was picking up in the middle of something but it didn't feel incomplete in any way...I don't know if that makes sense but like some movies you can watch from the middle and still feel it's deep impact; that is how I felt with the poem. It's like this poem was taken from the middle of something but on its own is amazing. I was just sucked into the scenes you created, thirsty for more. Your descriptive phrases are flawless so full of imagery that isn't forced. Everything just fit in nicely with one another. I loved the ending...oh dear. Your use of "speckled" was wonderful! It was true to your poem. Everything here was just beautiful...anything else I say after that would just be rambling. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Britt

    Comment from judging:

    This poems dark imagery has me with goosebumps up and down my arms. This is such a creepy yet beautiful poem, it's hard to explain. I love that the poem is so heavily focused on the details. I think that's something that truly invokes fear within dark poems - our own imaginations running amok with the images we're given. This writers posting style intrigues me and makes me wonder how she comes up with her lines - the . in the beginning of the poem made me feel like I was reading it backward, and when swapping around it gave the poem a whole new sense of eery. I know there has to be a deep meaning behind this, but I'm so focused on the sheer creep-factor that I can't delve into it more. This is amazing.