Rainbows

Peter, this is a sad tale of lost and I guess it wouldn't be any other way but I can feel the emotion running throughout it even though it's an old poem you have great rhyming and a fantastic flow throughout.

Title - I like the use of rainbows here because to me it signifies something beautiful and no doubt this love you speak of was at one point then it turned sour as the poem tells us.

1/ A fantastic opening with great imagery and reading Darrens comment I thought of the rainbow snapping in half and upon snapping changing to blue with your emotion and like the relationship not being able to connect again. My thoughts anyway.

2/ For some reason this feels like she found as people say "someone better" but you know what, more fool her I say.

3/ I think we have all done this within a break up, mutual or not wondered what if things were different and if we still loved each other and I believe if it's ended now (I know awhile ago) then it would have done eventually though we can always dream, right?

4/ OMG, this got me right in the heart and pulled at the strings which made me shed a few tears. The imagery here of you building a sand castle within your heart making this special someone your princess there, protecting her from harm no doubt for you to kiss her hand and this man belief castle crumbling around you with you heart by its side, what an image that is really vivid.

5/ I absolutely love this ending because I can feel there is hope here that your dreams will keep you together even if you aren't in reality which is somewhat as because I know you would have liked it to be reality though I hope with how long ago this poem was you have found your other half, the one you couldn't live without etc.

Loved this even if it was sad.
Take care, Em

Peter
I'm so glad I found this gem of a poem from you. I have to admit, the third stanza choked me up a little.....damn you, man!
The idea of this person still loving you in your dreams, backed up again in the final stanza where you talk of living in your dreams now because there, at least the two of you "have no end".

The flow, sentiment and rhyme of this are wonderful.....I wish I had written it. Damn you again, man!
All the best Peter
Ben

This is great Peter,
Some good raw emotion in this.

Again and as usual your rhyming was spot on.

My thoughts

Stanza 1
I like the broken rainbow analogy, I have tried to picture what one would look like, Then when you think that the logical place would be the top of the arc where it breaks, or snaps then the bottom parts would fall together forming a heart shape, Very clever , using a colour of a rainbow links well with feeling blue which obviously means sadness. You could also by looking a little deeper refer to someone who is enjoying life or who is happy as being full of colour, Line 3 then conflicts what I thought unless you take into account that maybe if it was to break and move apart slightly then the ends wouldn't meet. (i think I am getting there)

Stanza 2
To me this suggests she was materialistic, you offered her love, you believed that you were meant to be together, fate had helped with this. She has decided to move on because her head was turned by something.

Stanza 3,
You have the classic moonlight walk in this, in this stanza you are struggling to come to terms with being on your own and losing her.

Stanza 4
To me the 'building a sandcastle' line shows that you knew it was a fragile relationship on her part. Maybe you didn't feel you were good enough for her but tried your best to please her. By making her a princess you have put her on a pedestal. Kissing the hand, although seen as a romantic gesture is also seen as a sign of respect or knowing your place, men would kiss the hands of nobleman women when greeting or leaving. This ties in nicely with the princess description. The tears flowing links into the whole beach analogy. You can picture that there were a lot of tears, like the waves or ocean.

Final stanza
Beams generally offer support, by pushing these away she has taken away your support of her, she has disregarded your respect for her. Your mind living in a world of dreams shows that you still think of her. You are the heart broken party in the relationship.

great poem peter

This master piece is very exquisite. i love it. fantastic job.
^.^ plz comment on my poems too.

Well, this rhymed beautifully:)

I understand about the dream, and being happy there.

Well done,

5/5 Ingrid