I still make my hair,
hoping you'll notice the change.
I still brush my teeth,
hoping you'll kiss me one day.
I still wear that dress you liked at night,
hoping you'll care.
I still play our song again and again,
hoping you haven't forgotten.
I still write poems about you,
hoping you'll read them one day.
I still make videos for you,
hoping you will see them one day.
I still care about you
but I am not hoping you care about me, too.
I know you don't love me
as much as I do and I can't make you
feel something that you do not.
They say, where there's life,
there's hope but I don't agree with this.
I may be breathing but I'm not really living.
I'm not living the life I had wished for,
therefore I can't hope for a change.
Because, darling I realized I lost you
a long time ago.
It wasn't when you said
you wanted us to be friends,
it wasn't when you broke my heart
for the first time,
or when you said goodbye
and you never came back.
But wait. I never lost you
because I never had you, my dear.
I spent so many sleepless nights
praying for you and I,
wishing that we would be together one day,
whenevever God brought you my way.
Why all those lies and these pain?
Why did you fall in another girl's arms?
Was it because of the distance?
I was always, always there for you.
I'm sure -and you told me so-
that I was there when no one else was.
Why did you have to break my heart?
You knew I was fragile
-been hurt so many times before-
so why didn't you take good care of my heart?
The most precious thing I ever came to own.
And still, I would do anything,
anything to see you smile one more time.
Even if you're not smiling at me,
but at your new girlfriend.
Even if I'll never be the reason behind your smile.
I just want you to know,
that I never wanted to let you go.
I'll always care about you,
whether I show it or not.
I never gave up on you,
I just learnt how to let go of you.
I hope your new girl gives you
everything I couldn't,
I hope all your dreams come true,
although I won't be there with you.
I hope that one day
you'll become the person you want to be,
although you'll be loving someone else
and not me.
Just promise me, that no matter
what happened between us,
you'll never ever forget about me
and all we used to be.
P.S: I still get those stupid butterflies whenever I think of you.