Comments : Crishmerl(Acrostic)

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Mery~
    Great to see you writing again :)
    This is a beautiful piece! I've only written an acrostic about my name once and it was quite negative lol.
    I love and admire your optimism.
    The word choice was lovely and just fitting.

    'Clone of a girl in the mirror
    revive my strengths from her hopes; and-
    invigorate my dreams that once melted.'
    ^I like how you penned 'clone', it adds a nice atmosphere here. The idea of finding strength in yourself is brilliant.

    'She is my shield and my precious model;
    who-
    hold my hand to stand,
    made me brave to fight; and-'
    ^I like that you continued on with the theme instead of abandoning it.
    A little error on tense: hold should be holds :)

    'engage me in positive outlook of life a
    real damsel facing in the mirror; and-
    learned how to wear a perfect Crishmerl
    smile.'
    ^Lovely ending. Very hopeful; very positive. I like it.
    Engage should be engaged. Add 'a' before positive. I advice you to remove 'in' before 'the mirror' to make it flow better. Learned should be learnt.

    Beautiful piece. Keep writing!
    -X

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    It's really great to see someone post a positive poem about themselves... i love it! :) great imagery and keep being positive! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Excellent

  • 11 years ago

    by Max

    Mery
    Great to see writing agaon after so long =)
    and you blow me with this poem simpley fantastic

    "Clone of a girl in the mirror
    revive my strengths from her hopes; and-
    invigorate my dreams that once melted.
    She is my shield and my precious model; who-
    hold my hand to stand,
    made me brave to fight; and-"
    Liked the usage of 'clone' gave something special like your reflection in the mirror is,alive and can move on its oen and just like you in look ,
    I can imagin you standing in front of a mirror talking to your 'clone' and she encourage you to kerp going and complete your way and makes you stronger

    Completely amazing come back Mery

    5/5 keep writing =)

  • 11 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    Excellent, very nicely written.

  • 11 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    It's so so so nice......filled with positive vibes!!
    thank u for the optimistic poem!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by nouriguess

    The ending... Good on ya. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Kylead

    Its good prefer some of your longer ones better but still great

  • 11 years ago

    by Kylead

    Its good prefer some of your longer ones better but still great

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Very nice mery... You are more like me... always finding something good out of the worst... :)
    This poem brings out that side of u...
    an energy booster and good work:)

  • 8 years ago

    by Z

    This is such a beautiful poem. When we look in the mirror, we always see someone that we don't want to see at all. It's interesting to see this from the positive point of view we can be happy but a lot of times it is tough. I liked the imagery in this poem and like how you centered it around a person and mirror very thought provoking piece!

    • 8 years ago

      by Yrem Crish

      Thanks for the comment friend.
      I really appreciate it.
      :-)

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Very good indeed. I love the acrostic form, anyway - it's always interesting to see where people will go with it.