Comments : Like a Dream

  • 11 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    I love this piece
    sand and heartbreaking, very emotional
    yet the truth so well spoken.
    I love the part, you, yourself are hurting so
    bad, screaming on the inside, trying so hard
    to hide it on the outside, yet you still
    have noticed others and wonder how their
    life may be, the struggle they are trying
    to overcome
    the beautiful woman with the blue eyes
    it sounds like an Angel has appeared

  • 11 years ago

    by Thomas

    This poem is kinda strange to me :)

    You speak of sadness through the whole piece until the last stanza where you admire a woman's beauty.
    I like it because it has something dual in it.

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Vanuatu :P <3 <3 <3
    ---
    lol.. Hm:

    Liz~
    in every poem I read by you, there's always a hint of sadness. Perhaps it is where you draw your inspiration from. I myself can only write at ease with sadness, so I respect and understand that. I haven't told you in every comment I leave on your poems that your poems really captivate me; your poems really make me connect. It's like you're writing this in my perspective! ^_^

    'how many other people
    do we walk past every day,
    and speak to without knowing
    what they are struggling with,
    without knowing what pain
    they are trying to hide.'
    ^ I think this is a cathartic poem. You write about someone else, but I can't help but feel that your poems are really screaming for help; that this is about you not them. Yet, you still write poetically, not pitying whilst being simple. I really really admire that.

    'I then thought what
    would it be to look like that,
    to look like a dream.'
    ^ My interpretation of this is that, that woman who looks like a dream represents people who are considered 'perfect' or 'beautiful'. Yet we don't know what they are feeling 'inside'. I think there is a hint of gratitude within the last lines; the persona is thankful that she is not that woman..

    Overall, an interesting and beautiful write. I shall continue to ponder upon this for the whole day! Really awesome. Keep writing (:
    -X

  • 11 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    Wow Im so in love with this piece, ya I agree in every poem I read by you, there's always some sadnes:)
    I love the way you write:)
    Great Job liz:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Liz, I think this piece tells others so much about you...You are a fighter...you see others before you see yourself but you express who you are so beautifully and it pains me when I read your pieces for I know you don't see how great you are...you are one of the most kindest, humble, sweetest people I have ever met and you write with your heart....

    The sadness in this is evident and while some people may see the end as a little brighter, I see that you are trying to relate to someone else, trying not to be you...but really you see the beauty in someone who maybe going through the same things as you...

    I love this....and I love you, you amazing woman

    hugs and love
    xxx

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    So true. we walk by and talk to people everyday and may never know their struggles. someone can be hurting and not let a soul know...have a smile on their face and then go home and cry and suffer. it's heartbreaking. this is truly a beautiful, heartfelt piece. i think i'll add it to my favorites! :) great job. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Stellar my friend!

  • 11 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Lioness......you have this way of writing that i find very hard to comment on, i have read LOTS of your work and can say with conviction that you are amazing! Everytime i read something by you i find myself in another world, you set emotions and questions together beautifully and i can well believe the comments above.....seriously you are epic x

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Liz,

    I probably have told you this before but you have this way of speaking with your writing. It doesn't matter what it is that you write, I always feel like you are speaking to me even if I cannot relate to the poem.

    I will stop dreaming
    when my reality
    becomes better than
    the life I'm living in
    my sleep.

    ----I was looking to see if someone else mention anything about this stanza. I have to say something, really. This stanza left me like huh? haha, I love that. When that happens I start thinking and I feel alive and like myself.

    The way I interpret it, its as if you are saying that you will stop thriving for more goals when your reality finally surpasses your dreams.

    It made me wonder,
    how many other people
    do we walk past every day,
    and speak to without knowing
    what they are struggling with,
    without knowing what pain
    they are trying to hide.

    --- Everyone has pain, but in some are more obvious that in others. I love the way you wrote this stanza, it just sounds so calm and important that it gets to me.

    I met this lovely woman
    and she was beautiful. Her
    eyes were blue like Vanuatu
    waters and I felt like swimming
    in them. I then thought what
    would it be to look like that,

    to look like a dream.

    --- interesting, I never wonder that. But I think this goes back to the first stanza, and it also left me thinking. I'm sorry, I can't really explain the things that have come to my mind, but I can say that I love your writing. It's calm even if it's sad.

  • 11 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    Mind blowing poem for me, I understand some of your emotions and the power here is vivid

  • 11 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Beautiful piece you have here, Liz. I haven't read any of your pieces yet :( I'm guilty. I'm slacking...I'm sorry.

    "I will stop dreaming
    when my reality
    becomes better than
    the life I'm living in
    my sleep"

    ^ I really like your intro here. I can relate to this really well, because I have often come to the conclusion that my dreams are way better than my reality.

    The second stanza is also perfection. This is my favorite line="red lights looked like my bleeding heart." Beautiful line right there. This one line here is filled with so much emotion, to me, that my heart bleeds from just reading it. Beautiful.

    "I could feel the lump in
    my throat and my eyes
    were swelling with tears
    of sadness. I was screaming
    on the inside and invisible
    on the out"

    ^This however, is where the truck load of emotion comes in. "I could feel the lump in my throat and my eyes swell with tears" - another beautiful line(s). Everyone can relate to this, I imagine. "I was screaming on the inside and invisible on the out" - my word! Another beautiful line(s). Sorry I keep on saying beautiful in this comment, but it is. I love this poem. I can feel the lump in my throat from memories and the burning of the tears at the back of my eyes. Screaming inside until you are so exhausted...

    "It made me wonder,
    how many other people
    do we walk past every day,
    and speak to without knowing
    what they are struggling with,
    without knowing what pain
    they are trying to hide."

    ^ You will never know. Almost everyone has insecurities, low self-esteem at times, and doubt that they are going to succeed in life. Even this woman

    I met this lovely woman
    and she was beautiful. Her
    eyes were blue like Vanuatu
    waters and I felt like swimming
    in them. I then thought what
    would it be to look like that

    Probably has some. Pain, in the end, is what makes us feel for others. The consequences - good or bad - is what makes us human. I get the message completely throughout this poem, and I am glad that you decided to share it with us.

    Beautiful/excellent poem, Liz.
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Liz-

    This poem holds great depth and meaning. The title is a realistic title, and it invites the reader to want to read...

    You have created such beauty and sadness within the stanzas... I was drawn to the passion that you write within each line.. Your heart felt nature can be felt...

    "
    I could feel the lump in
    my throat and my eyes
    were swelling with tears
    of sadness. I was screaming
    on the inside and invisible
    on the out."

    ^^^ this stanza here really got to me. This is why you are one of my favorite writers. Your word display and visual greatness allowed me to see you standing there crying.. :-( and at this point I wanted to hug you-

    well done Liz-

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    Liz,
    This is a deep piece. It moved me alot. I like how you made the poem relateable and easy to connect with. You know how to speak to the readers heart.

    Each stanza was put together well but the following stanza really court my eye and made the poem for me

    "I will stop dreaming
    when my reality
    becomes better than
    the life I'm living in
    my sleep."

    Your words are so honest that everyone can relate as we all have our dream worls and want to make them a reality.

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    There was so much beauty and sadness felt in this poem, and I am so lucky I stopped by to read it before logging off for the night. Everything about this poem is beautiful in my eyes.....I love the way you express your voice in such honesty and with such clear ideas that maybe cross a person's mind, but never stay. What I loved about this poem is that you created a new image for me, the image of looking at a traffic light and connecting it with your own heart, being so openly vulnerable and broken that you want to just stop right there, whether middle of the street or not. It was heartbreaking reading those middle stanzas, the pain, the mystery of where that pain came from specifically, but knowing that this reality is hurting you.

    The title was neat- especially how it related to this mystery lady, gorgeous with blue eyes that you looked upon, and how your words go back to that truth that I do believe people will not want to dream in sleep anymore if reality is truly that good.

    Inspiring, emotional, and really thought-provoking. How many times do we look at other people passing us or crossing the street and look beyond their face, their demise? What story of struggle to they hide underneath or even show?

    Well-thought out, keep writing, enjoyed it a lot :]