Comments : Do you have a story...??

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is so fantastic, it really tells the story of how our world is today... catastrophe is everywhere and it's a shame. peace and happiness are rare nowadays. great job!
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    It is so sad to watch how people function
    the world has not become a nice place to
    be. Nobody seems to care anymore.
    enjoyed reading

  • 11 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Wow, this is a very good poem. There is only one thing that I would change - last stanza second line 'band' should be 'ban' if you intended to mean to prevent catastrophes from happening.

    I really like this poem as I said.

    "I hear a story of a little girl, starving and in poverty
    I hear a story of a race where there is no equality
    I hear a story of a man, who jut lost his family
    But do you have a story where we all live happily?"

    ^ In this part, I like how you mentioned stories that are either happening, or could happen, and then asked that one question. That one question has been asked multiple times, and I have yet to find a place where everyone lives happily. Perfect attention getter because it draws everyone in with the questions.

    "We hear stories of disaster and of famine in the East;
    West has genocide; North has war; South needs to feast
    Where is the joy? Is it so hard to have a day of harmony?
    So do you have a story where we all live happily?"

    ^ I like how you used current events. Makes the poem really relatable to the reader :]

    I love this whole poem - it is now going into my favorites :)

    Excellent
    5/5

  • Thanks for pointing out that typo - will fix immediately!

    Thanks to all for reading and commenting. (:

  • 11 years ago

    by Mohan

    Great poem with emotions..
    i agree with purple