Illuminate Me

by Lioness   Jun 20, 2012


You once said that
sunbeams would guide
me but I keep waking
up with a dimmer heart,

so much that I cannot
tell when dusk finishes
and dawn begins.

The forced breaths I
take on those sleepless
nights don't help ease
my angst.

Instead, I become
worse with fear and
begin to doubt who
I was, who I've become
and who I will be.

So I beg you,

illuminate my path
so that the darkness
within me, hides behind
the silent shadows,

so I'm finally able
to breathe on my
own.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Jennah Bella

    Another heartfelt write that I loved from start to end. Completely faultless. I love how you peel away the layers of the reader until you get to their heart.

    5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    There will always be times when we all feel we haqve lost our way or doubts are formed as to what we are doing and where we are going?

    We all seek guidance at those times, whether it be from God, our friends and family on what path we should take.

    Very well written.

  • 6 years ago

    by Matthew Anthony

    Illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,

    Wow!

  • 6 years ago

    by Xanthe

    What I really love about your writes is that they are all very relatable. I think your poems speak what the rest of us have trouble expressing.
    Although they don't always boast of complexity and use of poetic devices, it is fairly obvious that what/how you write is from the heart; from real experience. I love that.
    I won't go on and critique this poem. Just by reading it makes me feel unworthy. It's like I'm trespassing into a different world (yours), and I can see/hear/feel everything you are going through. Another thing I love about your poems is that you take the reader into a different world, make them see through your perspective and make them feel..
    Keep writing

  • 6 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    You once said that
    sunbeams would guide
    me but I keep waking
    up with a dimmer heart,

    ^^Liz...This is simple yet totally awesome, the sadness is sort of gently scattered here, as not to overpower the poem...

    so much that I cannot
    tell when dusk finishes
    and dawn begins.

    ^The darkness begins to show here, how you feel so dark that you are confused about the time...

    The forced breaths I
    take on those sleepless
    nights don't help ease
    my angst.

    ^OMG That is powerful...simple yet so sad and dark I felt really heavy for you

    Instead, I become
    worse with fear and
    begin to doubt who
    I was, who I've become
    and who I will be.

    So I beg you,

    illuminate my path
    so that the darkness
    within me, hides behind
    the silent shadows,

    ^^The above stanza's together make me feel of someone lost, someone who needs help, and is begging for it...with all they have left

    so I'm finally able
    to breathe on my
    own.

    ^^This tells the reader that you want to be free, you want to be your own person and take your own breaths...

    Liz...Never do you fail to amaze me, never do you fail to pen awesome pieces.

    I love how it is simple in it's wording which makes it powerful and deep...

    Great work
    xxxxxx