Tortured

Do you think I want to want you
I want to look in the mirror and see you instead
I want to cry myself to sleep everynight
Wake up barely able to breath by day
I don't wish for any of this
I wish for relief
I wish for mercy
I wish I didn't care
My heart breaks
Constantly tortured and taunted by every memory
Every single word keeps replaying in my mind
The promises and the lies
Then you come back
Now I feel the same amount of pain
I'm a little more sane
I'm able to wake and stop praying for God to keep my life safe
I'm still only surviving
I wish we never happened
I'm left in agony with or without you
Pick my poison he said