Comments : Frozen Lips

  • 5 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Liz yet again you make me look at my screen in amazement like an idiot without much to say.....it a very sad piece, but i love it so the only word that comes to mind is nominated x

    Big loves liz x

  • 5 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Another beautiful piece, Liz. Very beautiful. The title alone caught my attention, and so did the category that it was in.

    For some reason this reminds me of a paradox - the lips are cold, but the heart is burning? Very interesting.

    'I would never use the word
    enchanted because
    that word holds such beauty,'

    ^ This is such a powerful stanza to me. To me, it seems like you think the person is horrid, or whatever the opposite of beauty is, which is interesting to me because of his heart. Usually a burning heart means that they are alive, or that is the way that I interpret it...

    Very interesting poem, Liz. If I were to guess what this was about, I would have no idea because it is so confusing to me. Cold lips, but burning heart? Hmmm...what is it about? Maybe I am reading too much into it?

    Like Ben, you left me speechless :) Just staring at the screen with my mouth hanging open. You always write beautiful poetry.

    Excellent
    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    Gosh! such a creative piece.. i think it induces a heart-attack because of the beautiful mix of FIre and Ice! Loved it, Lizzzz

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    Oh! My Beautiful One,

    this poem made my heart cry.Beauty aches.

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Your lips are frozen
    like standing time between
    the living and the dead,

    -- When I read the title, I imagined frozen lips even with ice surrounding them. The funny thing is that I just had finish watching "Happy Feet 2" so to come and see this poem without looking at the content was somehow amusing. But when I started reading, the first stanza served its purpose. It drew me in so quickly. So many thoughts came to my mind with those words. I mean, I thought: What is this poem about? "standing time between the living and the dead" and "frozen lips?"
    I know that when someone gets scares, they can completely freeze and look pale, but also when someone has pass away. So to see the words living and the dead, made me think that it is not dead yet. It might be close to. By the way, by frozen lips, I feel like you are trying to say that perhaps love... or attention is frozen.

    but your heart is filled
    with fire that it
    prevents me from getting
    too close,

    even though I feel your
    power pulling me in.

    --By fire, I'm not sure what you mean.. I'm guessing it could be passion?
    or anger? Though passion wouldn't make sense, perhaps anger.. it prevents you from getting close but it draws you in because you care for this someone.
    but if it were passion, let see..

    how can passion prevent you from getting close? I mean it might pull you in, but... the frozen lips... meaning the lips don't show what the heart says?

    You mix my emotions like
    a fiery cauldron only to use
    the toxic potion to your advantage,
    so my willpower becomes weakened,

    even just by your gaze.

    -- So I'm still thinking that perhaps it's either passion of anger represented by the fire in the heart. So if it's passion more like love..., then this stanza makes sense. So this person, contradicts himself/herself. In one way, it's cold in the attention way, but the affection way it's right there. So it takes advantage of your emotions because he/she know that you care for him.her.

    I would never use the word
    enchanted because
    that word holds such beauty,

    and there is nothing beautiful
    about kissing your frozen lips
    or feeling your scorched heart
    upon mine.

    --- ah, so What I understood by frozen lips is that they are too cold and don't give the warm feeling that they should give.. and that the heart apparently holds love but it's burned.. Hence, is not living and not dead... the love for that someone, it's in between. The heart says I love you, but the lips don't show it.

    This is sad, at least the way I understood it.
    Nonetheless, I like it. I feel that there is much more than what I'm thinking. But I can't get a grasp of what this poem really is about.

    I love word choice! Scorched, cauldron, standing time. Oh yeah, amazing write.

  • 5 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Amazing poem

    I really like how you made the connection with the lips and heart, because thats what is suppose to happen when you kiss someone so I like how you said frozen lips instead of frozen heart. . . ofcourse in this poem you described it as a "scorched heart" preventing that someone from showing emotion in a kiss making them frozen. . .

    You mix my emotions like
    a fiery cauldron only to use
    the toxic potion to your advantage,
    so my willpower becomes weakened,

    This part of the poem really put this poem together , I like the mention of mixing your emotions. . . and this stanza is just brilliant.. Nice work on this poem :)

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This was such a deep poem I looked the way you said
    You would use the word enchanted but that beautiful thought that was beautiful ... The tittle was fresh never seen it before and your description was perfect defently a favourite of mine I'm adding it to my favourites :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    You mix my emotions like
    a fiery cauldron only to use
    the toxic potion to your advantage,
    so my willpower becomes weakened,
    ...
    Amazing, very well written, really loved this

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    How powerful and dark these images are, these seemingly chaotic feelings that you feel, as if you are so pulled in by him, but not yet that close to his heart.

    "but your heart is filled
    with fire that it
    prevents me from getting
    too close,

    even though I feel your
    power pulling me in."

    Here, my only suggestion would be to remove the "it" in the first stanza after "that", I think it reads better and more smoothly without it. Or keeping the "it", I read the first stanza with a comma after fire or some type of punctuation. Just my opinion, this is your poem and I understand using the "it" to make it more clearly what is preventing you. :)
    I love how you crafted these words into such a provoking poem, this person is such a mystery yet the way you describe them is personal in a way, intimate to you, yet it is not how you want to live, because you can't call him or this love you have pure and beautiful. The depth behind it seems like his heart has twisted you, I think. I loved how you mixed so many real feelings here, some seem so raw and depressed, it creates images that the reader is caught pondering...

    Well-penned, awesome job!!!

  • 5 years ago

    by Ruby Red Memories

    Liz, I loved the imagery in this. You really created a picture in my mind. This is a very powerful write. I loved how you used simple words yet managed to have a deep impact on the reader. I found this piece to be very profound and it cuts deep into the reader.

    5/5