Faulty Lies

by Lioness   Jul 8, 2012


I know the fault does not
lie within my hands,
nor anyone else's,
but I can't help but
feel like traitor
against my own skin.

My flushed cheeks become the
enemy and I know that
I am embarrassed and enraged
at the same time,

though only towards myself.

What will he think of
me when he finds out
the truth I have been
trying to conceal from
him this whole time?

How can I expect him
to understand my pain
when I can't even begin to
understand it myself?

The veil has now become
transparent and he will
soon be able to judge
me like everyone else
does,

and that scares me.

Because I know he'll
wake up one day, only
to realise,

that I'm not worth it.

1


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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Too many times have I had this feeling. Hang in there, beautiful.

  • 5 years ago

    by Hellon

    I get the feeling you wrote this in a rush..spur of the moment thing...wanting to get it all down before anyone came home and "caught"you? Just a feeling..

    I know the fault does not
    lie within my hands,
    nor anyone else's,
    but I can't help but
    feel like traitor
    against my own skin.

    ^^^
    Line 4 starts and ends with but so maybe eliminate one of them...I think feel like "a traitor would be better perhaps?

    My flushed cheeks become the
    enemy and I know that
    I am embarrassed and enraged
    at the same time,
    ^^^

    Too many words here I feel...

    There is no need for my in line one...

    Flushed cheeks, the enemy I recognise
    embarrassment, enragement, familiar foes

    though only towards myself.
    ^^^^

    This line could disappear if you go with these suggestions.

    What will he think of
    me when he finds out
    the truth I have been
    trying to conceal from
    him this whole time?

    How can I expect him
    to understand my pain
    when I can't even begin to
    understand it myself?

    The veil has now become
    transparent and he will
    soon be able to judge
    me like everyone else
    does,

    and that scares me.

    Because I know he'll
    wake up one day, only
    to realise,

    that I'm not worth it

    The rest of it is quite tragic if it's fact...people/friends/family/partners should all be there to support no matter how bad circumstances are.

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I love how you write about feelings felt everyday by everyone one way or another in their lives. It is so admirable.
    This seems so simple, when in fact, it holds so much meaning and depth that is simply overlooked. And that's what makes it all the more relatable.
    You make the reader connect and think/reflect. I love that.
    There's nothing much I can say, but I absolutely love this piece. Keep writing :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    My heart aches for you. Sometimes we hide secrets from the ones we love to either protect them or because we are just so embarrassed by them we are afraid they will never see us the same way again... like they will judge us. However, if he truly loves you then he will look back the imperfections and will love you even more.

    You are so talented and this is just a beautiful, heartfelt piece... You can really tell you poured your heart out with every word.

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Loved it, I like the spacing out of your poem, it is almost like it is layed out as they way it came into your head in the thoughts.

    I think you picked a good title, it didnt actually give a lot away about your poem, making you want to read it.

    I really liked this stanza :

    What will he think of
    me when he finds out
    the truth I have been
    trying to conceal from
    him this whole time?

    - I related tot his and I think you have worded it well. It is something which I think a lot of people can relate to.

    I also liked :

    The veil has now become
    transparent and he will
    soon be able to judge
    me like everyone else
    does,

    and that scares me.

    - I liked this because again I can relate to it, but I also like the way you seperated " and that scares me" because it adds so much more power to that fear you are describing.

    Over all I think you done a good job and I enjoyed it, well done.